Ant: 0:18

Alright, bet. Welcome back to another episode of the Trenches 2 Trophies Podcast. We got another episode full of hot topics for y'all, so hopefully you can ride with us. I'm here with my boys, Monte Corleone and Uniq Artistry. What'd it do? And we up in this thing. Alright, so first thing I want to talk to y'all about is, you know, the internet is an interesting place with a lot of interesting perspectives. But recently, now we got the guys coming at the females, right? So we we watched a little video, and bro said he'll only get married if the dad pays for the wedding. Right? Not only that, he said that she gotta come from money. And he called her trust fund baddie, if you will. Right? So how y'all feel about that? Do y'all feel like it's okay for a man in today's day and age to expect a woman to one come from money, right? Like her pops need to have the bread. And then two, if they get married, that her dad needs to pay for the wedding in totality, right? She he paying for the whole thing.

Uniq: 1:26

Off the rip, that's some leeching mentalities to me. That sounds like somebody that a nigga that's just straight a leech. They just trying to get over in some way. Some some people would say, you know, I'm looking out for my best interests. You know what I'm saying? My future uh plans for my family. You know what I'm saying? I'm not gonna necessarily agree with it. You know what I'm saying? What you got, Monte?

Monte: 1:54

So I would personally say that he's been watching too many Italian movies because too much old school monster. Now, when you really think about it, bro, black families didn't do that shit. That was Italian families where where they were paying for, and white families, you know what I'm saying, paying for the the the the girls' wedding and stuff like that. You've never seen black folks really doing that. Not in America, right? Yeah, in Africa, but but see, but that's a different culture. Right, right. They had to pay, people had to pay them. I think y'all, I think we was talking about that. Like they would you you gotta pay the woman. Like, her pretty much, you know what I'm saying?

Uniq: 2:44

Like, if you want my daughter, you want to be, you know what I'm saying? My daughter, you have to bring something to my family.

Monte: 2:48

But as far as as far as black families, man, we we really don't do that. And at the point where we are now, where I guess he's thinking about like dating blue ivy or something like that. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, he's not talking about a regular woman that, you know what I'm saying, that looked good, got something going for herself and stuff like that. Because first of all, I don't know what woman's father that's gonna allow you to talk like that and ex and and have that expectation, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's a you got a high expectation, and I don't think no man is going for that for his daughter. You know what I'm saying? Like you basically telling me I gotta pay for it.

Uniq: 3:34

Somebody like, because this it sounds similar, like you saying that made me think about somebody in particular, Steve Harvey. Who you mean? And like Lori Harvey, you know how they was saying he was pimping out his daughter. Because that's what it is, Sicily. You know what I'm saying?

Ant: 3:51

You pimping her out. I mean, and look, and this is a crazy perspective, right? Because if you somebody who comes from money, you most likely want people in your family who also come from money. So if if like if my daughter comes to me and be like, oh yeah, I want to marry this dude, da da da, oh okay, who is he? What does he do? Like, just off general interest, bruh, she'd be like, oh yeah, he works at the family dollar, he makes $10 an hour, but he's he's 25 years old. Yeah, I'm gonna have a little bit different of a perspective of him that if you tell me, oh yeah, he's a business owner, or oh, he he works at this company and he makes six figures, da da da da. Because in my eyes, I want somebody who can take care of you. Not saying that they have to and pay for everything, but if shit, if some shit goes wrong, bro, I want my kid to be around some people who got some guidance. Like, you know what I think about this is and this is probably off to the left a lot. But if some if some shit happened like end of the world, motherfucker gonna leave my he gonna leave my daughter. Is he the type of nigga who gonna lead the family to safety? Is he the type of motherfucker who knows something about something in the in the wilderness? He's gonna make sure that we can build a fire, can feed my family and shit like that. That's really the type of shit I'm thinking about.

Uniq: 5:01

You just want to make sure she's gonna be in good hands.

Ant: 5:04

Okay, and in general, so the the money don't matter, but when you think about being 25 and making $10 an hour, is that really does that look like they're gonna be in good hands?

Uniq: 5:11

This nigga wants somebody to work for our state. I mean, type shit. Are you in good hands?

Ant: 5:15

I mean, if he got the insurance and shit like that. Are you in degrees?

Monte: 5:19

I don't for me, I don't judge that because I don't know if that man's having a hard time finding a job and he has a degree. Yeah, that it that comes with talking to him. But this man had his attitude and how he was presenting what he was saying, he already give me the vibes. Like, I you not even gonna, bro, you're not gonna pass the first five minutes on my couch, bruh. Like, I'm gonna be like, get the fuck out of my house, bruh. Like, but what do you mean?

Ant: 5:49

What can you do with that though? All right, so check it, check this out, because you gotta follow through with the perspective. Okay, your daughter's the one who loves him, right? Your daughter's also the one who is convincing you to pay for her wedding. Because it's not about the dude. She's asking you to come and help her pay for her dream wedding in this situation.

Uniq: 6:05

So she's not asking it's an assumption, right?

Ant: 6:09

It's an assumption, but if but if he gets the woman he's looking for, you know what I'm saying?

Monte: 6:14

Let me put it into perspective. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Because if that's the case, first off, me and my daughter should already have had this conversation. Me and my daughter should already have had the conversation about what we're gonna do and what we expect as a family to support you in your, you know what I'm saying, on your wedding day. You know what I'm saying? And if I've already said that I'm gonna pay for it, that is cool. Then, you know what I'm saying, you can start planning your wedding and stuff like that. But if we've had the conversation like, oh, okay, you know what I'm saying, like, cause because a dad probably ain't gonna have the conversation like, babe, what type of wedding do you want? You know what I'm saying? Right, right. So I'm gonna get that from my wife. I'm gonna get that from my wife. My wife is gonna tell me, hey, this is the type of wedding she wants, this is what I wanna do, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know what I'm saying? You nigga had to speak on the perspective of how he would handle it because you know what I'm saying, it's a different situation. But when I'm when I'm when my wife gives me what my daughter wants, you know what I'm saying? It's up to me to make the decision. Oh, yeah, I got that for sure. You know what I'm saying? But if if I ain't had it, if we ain't had that conversation and I told her that hey, you know, we'll see, we'll see when when the time comes, type of thing. You know what I'm saying? He can't have that expectation. That's gonna turn, that's gonna she wouldn't even, she shouldn't even come to me with that, basically. You know what I'm saying? If she knows that I ain't paying nothing but half, she shouldn't come to me and say, Well, my boyfriend wants to talk to you. Because that's the kind of conversation that you're gonna get.

Ant: 7:50

But I feel like you wouldn't know off rip. I feel like, think about how many things, and even from your perspective, think about how many things your father-in-law either does not know currently or did not know before the time before y'all got serious. Like a lot of them bad habits, a lot of the them bad mindsets don't come out until a little bit later. So even if, like, think about it, like you're finding this stuff out, even if you you hear what he said, you're finding this out while they're planning the wedding, though. Like, you know what I'm saying? He didn't already ask, like, you know what I'm saying?

Uniq: 8:23

Yeah, you said you think you already believed. Like, he he at least decent.

Monte: 8:31

Yeah, and on top of that, okay, and then I gotta throw a little extra sauce on it because if I'm finding this out that this is how he is, and my daughter didn't tell me about it, I'm pissed. I'm pissed at my daughter because how you gonna get this far into this relationship and he talking like this? Like he gonna make me beat the shit out of him. Like, if any of y'all out there that's that that's seen this video and has daughters, bro, you should feel a type of way about how he's talking because it's like, bruh, like, how do you expect that? Like, you got high expectations, bro. Like, and and on top of that, you're very entitled. So, so you telling me, okay, and then I'll put it like this. What you contributing to this? You see what I'm saying? You're not just finna sit up there and just marry my daughter and not contribute anything. You see what I'm saying? Cause if I'm paying for the wedding, what does that mean you're doing? You just sitting on your ass, or are you are you around here putting up flowers? What are you doing? You see how you see what I'm saying?

Ant: 9:41

Like, that's my tucks, nigga. No. Bro, but no, but you gotta okay, but I want to but you gotta put it into put it into perspective, bruh. Cause these niggas nowadays, because obviously none of us technically agree, but I want to provide some arguing points, right? So think about it from the perspective of that's how a lot of women and some, like a lot of mothers and some fathers, that's how they feel about the other side too. Because these women expect everything being paid out for them or everything being done for them, and they're like the moms are like, Well, what is she bringing to the table? What does she do for the da da da da da da da da? Because it's wrong nowadays for a man to say, I want you to cook and clean, and da-da-da-da-da. Right? That makes it sound like he wants a slave. So then, from the perspective of a woman who's like, I still expect my man to provide financially, or is it within your rights to be like, well, then what are you doing for him? Right. Like, think about that, because now yo, that's being asked of your daughters. You know what I'm saying? Like, and so I think this is my thing. I think it's uh it puts a bad taste in my mouth, and I wouldn't want that type of nigga around my daughter. However, you can't get mad that a nigga is flipping that shit back around on how he feels like it's been flipped on him. You know what I'm saying? Now, again, want him to stay clear, clear the fuck away from like my family.

Monte: 10:59

Like, but this kind of goes back into this kind of goes back into what I was saying in the previous episode.

Ant: 11:06

Yeah, yeah.

Monte: 11:06

Like the first day shit, right? A woman gotta bring something to the table too. It is a 50-50 relationship, whether y'all like it or not. It could be 50-50 on the bills, I could pay the bills, you cooking clean, it's a 50-50 relationship. People just take it out of context. Now, when that woman asks for what she asked for and she gets what she wants, why can't a man get what he wants? But what he's saying is absurd. He's he's asking for a lot. Because now, okay, what type of wedding you want, my boy? You want a $5,000 wedding or you want a $50,000 wedding?

Ant: 11:47

And I think that to be honest, what if he operates on the side of she the one who wants the wedding? So that's why I feel like her dad needs to pay for it.

Monte: 11:55

Well, that means that you don't want to marry my daughter.

Ant: 11:58

But I think that I'm just saying, like, art for argument's sake, because again, I agree with you, but I'm saying for argument's sake, right? In my eyes, what's wrong with that? Like on the on a surface level of him saying, Hey, we I want to marry you, but if you and your family want a wedding, y'all want to do it big, your dad has to pay for all of those things.

Monte: 12:20

No, because this is what I think about this. Right.

Ant: 12:23

I just thought that's it.

Monte: 12:24

If you love my daughter, okay, and you want to marry my daughter, it is your responsibility to do that. If I put in any of my money, that is a luxury. That is not for me to do. I don't want to marry my daughter off. That's what motherfuckers don't understand. My daughter can stay at the crib till she's 55 fucking thousand years old. You see what I'm saying? But you want to marry my daughter, so you put in that extra effort, nigga, and I will support that. You know what I'm saying? That's how things, that's how things are in my eyes. Now, if my daughter came to me and was like, I am so in love. He's willing to do everything for me, he's willing to put it all on the table, bro. I'm with that. Let's go. You know what I'm saying? But he seems like an asshole, and he seems like, you see what I'm saying? Like, I'm, I just can't, I can I can't accept that, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, you you should be, you wanna marry my daughter, and you coming to me telling me I gotta pay for it, bro. What is what is this? This is a shakedown.

Ant: 13:29

But I think that that's only in our circles, though, bro. This nigga trying to rob me in front of my face. You hear me? What? I feel like that's only in our circles, though. I feel like in circles of motherfuckers who talk money all the time, it's not nearly as taboo for them that bring up them types of conversations. So that's why I'll give you a lot of people. You know what I'm saying?

Uniq: 13:49

Like if you ask me this question in an ideal world, for me, yeah, I would take care of that. If it was, and I say ideal, I mean in finances, you know what I'm saying, everything is in line, you know, and I have the funds and I've saved up and plan for something like that. Cause that's another thing too. Like, I feel like that father, these these these expectations is as if you're counting on that father have already been planning this for how long? Like, when do you start planning to save for something like that? You know what I'm saying? That's a little legitimate question. You know, like when would you start to save up for your daughter's wedding? You know what I'm saying? What do you think? I mean, shit.

Ant: 14:41

See, once the college fund is done. Once I'm done saving for the college fund. But triggering to other things. But that, but I think I I agree with what you're saying. I agree wholeheartedly with what you're saying. What what where it comes at for me is remembering one, the dude's attitude, like like Monte was saying. So you gotta remember his mindset, right, around the thing. Because I think all of us, given the the freedom, right, we would pay for our daughter's wedding without a second thought, right? I think that that's where we're we would position ourselves there. But if a nigga got to talking out the side of his neck, would we just be, oh yeah, I got it, I'm a stupid. Nah, we would be trying to take that nigga head off.

Uniq: 15:23

It's like I'm gonna pay for it, but it's like it's gonna be perimeter sitting set in place of what I'm paying for. Like the dress I'm paying for. Right. Like the venue. You know what I'm saying? I probably I pay for that. Yeah, yeah. But limo, nah. You know what I'm saying? Stuff like look little things, aesthetics and stuff like that. Decorations, nah. You know what I'm saying? I think those are small things that they need to be on one accord about.

Monte: 15:46

So those are the things that, like I said, like what are you paying for? Yeah. Those are the things that they're gonna have to pay for. Decorations.

Ant: 15:52

Well, so like, so like it's still another family tied to this wheel. Yeah, yeah. A whole nother family tied to this. Exactly. And not just that. And people don't think about friends too, though. Like, y'all gotta remember, like, in a, like you saying, in an ideal world, like I what I've seen, like, for example, for the baby shower, we didn't, like, most of the stuff we got, people either donated to us or somebody else paid for. So a lot of that we didn't have to take on, like a lot the baby swing and the you know, play pen and stuff like that. Like, other people took care of that for us. So that's also something we have to think about. Like, we hope that we create enough of a community to where we don't even have to think about nobody like that coming in because her friends and like her extended family, all of them people are gonna take care of those things. We got the only thing we should have to pay for is the venue or you know, the balloons or some crazy shit. You know what I mean? The cake. We we pay for the important pieces. Because in my eyes, so traditionally, this is what I looked up. The the mom of the bride pays for the dress. That's why they go. Think about it. The moms always take them, right? And so usually the mom pays for the dress, the dad pays for the venue, and you sometimes the the cake, right? Because those usually the big the big things, right? And then everybody else gets like the suits and stuff, like you know, and the dresses and everything. Like it usually everybody else then pulls together to take care of those things. And I in the ideal world, that's what I would want. You know what I mean? Because I want everybody to come together, because then that's how you keep it going. Hey, I I I gave in some stuff for your wedding, you give in stuff for my wedding, we all give in stuff for their wedding, like it all just kind of is one big thing. Yeah, but I'm glad that we all kind of operate on the same thing.

Uniq: 17:39

It's safe to say we all saying this this nigga here and get no love in our households. Absolutely.

Monte: 17:47

Nah, hell nah. And honestly, honestly, if the man would have, if he had a better attitude about it, like if he would have present it's it's all about presentation, you know what I'm saying? If he would have presented that a different way, you feel me? Like, if he'd have presented that motherfucker, like, hey man, like excuse me, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Monte. Mr. Monte? Hey, I would love to marry your daughter, you know what I'm saying? But I don't have it, you know what I mean? Like, is there any way that you could assist? Like, traditionally, you know what I'm saying? The uh the the male, the the father pays for the wedding, you know, and I was hoping, hey, my nigga, come here, man. Give me a hug, bro. Like, hey, I love you, little nigga. Let's go. Let's go do it, type shit. Then you get some love. But if you come to me like, hey man, you supposed to pay for the wedding, man. Get your little ass out of my house before I get to look.

Ant: 18:40

I told y'all how it was for me. Like, dude, ask me. He was like, you know, how much, how much y'all want me to pay for the wedding? I said, all of it. Don't, because don't ask me. I'ma tell you the truth. He's I he said, how much y'all want to pay? I said, uh all of it. He was like, how much y'all wanna pay? I said, none of it.

Uniq: 18:57

Yeah.

Ant: 18:58

Nigga, I look, cause this the but that's what I'm saying, bro.

Monte: 19:01

You got to G would have slapped the shit out of me, bro.

Ant: 19:05

But one, you gotta know. Say he wouldn't, bro. Say he wouldn't, bro.

Uniq: 19:11

He would have slept, man. He just was ended the conversation.

Ant: 19:18

You know what I'm saying? Well, uh, it was a little late by then, though. I ain't gonna lie. I was like, well, I mean, you know, I mean, but from my perspective, bro, again, like I come from more of the humble beginning. So when I was when I was even hit with the ticket price in the first place, I was like, yo, this steep. Like, I've heard of people talking about, oh yeah, I paid like 3,000, I paid like $5,000 for my wedding. I'm like, okay, cool. Little St. Louis wedding, that's how much it cost. You know what I mean? We sat down and was first looking at our stuff, that money was like 11,000 starting price. I said, Oh, hold up. Now, people probably listening to this, like, oh, that's that's pretty normal. That's that's cheap. Nigga, 11,000 was the starting. Now that that ain't nowhere near what the ending was. So it was just like, Nick, hold up.

Uniq: 20:04

Hey, let some women say it. That's what they getting from their sick of daddies or whatever.

Ant: 20:09

Hey, shout out to them dudes who got it like that, because yo, but and we also in a city of scamming ass, niggas.

Monte: 20:16

Yeah, but I wouldn't tell them like that. If a if a man is just paying, he's a creep. Straight. He's a creep, bro. Like, because there's no way like if he just if he just blowing a bag on you, he a creep. He a creep, dog.

Ant: 20:33

Because you feel like he's plotting, he trying to do it.

Monte: 20:35

If he blowing a bag on you, he's blowing the bag on somebody else. If he's got it like that, got it like that. If he's rolling in the dough, he doing it for you and somebody else. So you his hoe, pretty much. You know what I'm saying? And you probably turning tricks for that shit. You feel me? So I'm just saying, but niggas too. If a, if, if, because you gotta think about it like this. If Big Mama over there plant buying you a PlayStation, you turning tricks for Big Mama. Flat out. You dig?

Ant: 21:06

I mean, I ain't necessarily disagreeing. That just ain't what they call it. Like nowadays, getting financed is like a requirement. So like we used to put certain people like that in a standard. Yeah. Because we used to put them people in a box. We used to say, oh, that's a gold digger. That's that's them, these types of chicks, right? They'd be like, oh, that's the Kim K type of chicks. That's because that's the Korean Cephas type of chick.

Uniq: 21:27

Uh social media and uh artist music has allowed it, it influenced it to get into that point. So now it's like them or criteria, right?

Monte: 21:34

What happened to women actually wanting to go to school and do hair and be doctors and be vets and shit.

Ant: 21:42

I think they still want to do that. They just want to do that and do everything else too. No, they don't want balls, which I understand.

Monte: 21:48

They don't doing nothing.

Uniq: 21:50

They need to find somebody to finance it.

Monte: 21:53

But they're not doing nothing. They be getting the money and not doing nothing. So it's not for me, like, all right, I commend those. I commend those women who are getting it and going to school. But most of the time.

Ant: 22:05

I know some who have who have utilized it pretty well. Yeah, I know a few.

Monte: 22:08

I know a few as well. However, the majority, no. They go in and blowing it on the bag. They don't know.

Ant: 22:15

Because they feel like it can come right back. That's the thing. Like, they feel like, but again, that goes into the whole like value of a dollar conversation. But before we before we stick on this for too long, we're gonna stay in the same vein. Yeah, but we're gonna we're gonna jump over to a different like different um, but a different um, you feel me? Connected to a different side, you know what I mean? Because with all of us having daughters, right? That vein up. With it with all of us having daughters, how do we feel about that being flipped? Because we've all heard the conversation of well the six, six, six conversation. We ain't talking about the market of beast. Not at all. We talking about not at all, brother. Right, we talking about I call it the triple sixes. The triple sixes. Yeah. I I like that, I like the the triple sixes. So they say a man should have to make six figures, be six feet tall, and have six inches in his face. Hold the fuck up. Wait a minute.

Monte: 23:01

Hold on, first and foremost. How the fuck you gonna ask any, how you gonna ask that question to any one of us? Nigga, ain't none of us six.

Ant: 23:10

Is that a value you feel like you're gonna be okay with your daughter having? And what why not? Because I ain't six foot. I don't care about that. So you feel like you put you put five, seven in that motherfucker. Yeah, we can have a conversation. No, I'm just brought up. I'm trying to keep it straight from basic and shit, dog. I got too seven. I read it before. But look. But that shit, that shit got me weak though, bruh. Because is it is it bad for her to want it? Because I feel like a lot of women have set this standard because they dealt with something less than in the past. So what they're trying to do now is shoot for the stars. You know what I mean?

Monte: 23:52

I I don't so no, I don't feel like that she should be wrong for feeling that way. My daughter or any woman, because you know, sometimes people think about how they want their kids and stuff like that. You know what I'm saying? I feel it's wrong to judge people on how they how tall they are and stuff like that, because you could be possibly passing up a good person. You know what I'm saying? But if that's what you want, that's what you want. You know what I'm saying?

Uniq: 24:20

And hey, I'm just I'm the problem is for me, uh because I don't agree with it. It's like you two of those things is purely off with genetics. You know what I'm saying? Having six inches and being six feet tall. So you're already negating a huge amount of the population just because of genes. You know what I'm saying? There's nothing a man can help. That's nothing that he can work towards. I know. The six figures is something that he can attain. You can't do anything. She, you know what I'm saying, about that.

Monte: 24:57

Yeah, but you you're saying, okay, so you're saying that basically if you came across a six-foot woman that was not the complexion that you like, and she has small chest and no behind, you would go for that just because she got a good attitude? You know what I'm saying? You have a certain criteria as well, so it's something that you want, but that's that could be something that the girl wants and doesn't she doesn't want a short man or a short young yong.

Uniq: 25:28

And then off of that other criteria, then you how you gonna get to know the other criteria unless you're moving forward, and now you put telling your daughter to go find that out.

Monte: 25:36

I mean, that's I mean, that's technically on the person. That's it. That's how you gonna see that. But but remember what I said in the first place. Judging the person by they by their height, they they I said the exact same thing pretty much. Like they they taking off a vast majority of the people that might be good people. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's it's stupid, but that's something that they won't. I I can't.

Ant: 25:59

I feel like we do it all the time with like weight and stuff, though. Like, or like them, all them people with that big old forehead that you that you look past because you couldn't get over her hairline, like she might have been a really great person. Like, you know what I mean? But I say this. I say this, bro. When it comes to the standards, I think that anybody who has too strict of a standard is gonna fail. Cause you you you cutting too many people out. I think it's so actually I was well, I was following this page and I ain't gonna tag them because we ain't at the point where we start giving niggas shout-outs like that. But they were talking about we look for the wrong things. Like when we first get with somebody, we're not supposed to say, Oh, I want you to do X, Y, and Z. I want a person that has all these things. We're supposed to say, I want somebody who respects me, I want somebody who's loyal. You know what I mean? Them type of requirements, because then you you set yourself up for the right thing. When you do stuff like, oh, she gotta be, she gotta have big t, she got a big ass, she gotta be able to throw that motherfucker around. I need somebody who could twerk. Like, I you know what I mean? Like those are all cool things to have later on in the relationship, but it don't really benefit you when you talk about setting up a foundation. You know what I'm saying? So as far as me, if to answer the question, I wouldn't want my daughter growing up with this particular standard in her head. Like saying like six feet, six figures, six inches. Cause if I don't ever want her being like six inches oh, nigga, you five and a half. Like, nigga, I mean, that's that's a little wild. You think about that at the end of the day, bro? Like, she just out here talking about some almost made it, nigga. Sorry. She good luck next time, motherfucker. Yeah, like I mean, okay.

Monte: 27:37

Okay, but and this is where I come from with it. Because are you alright with your daughter settling because she couldn't find what she was looking for, and then she settles for somebody that she really don't like, so you gotta deal with it afterwards, because a divorce comes heavy, nigga. They might have to, she might have to come stay with you. You know what I'm saying? It's like, I'd rather you go find what you want, but then again, to turn it around, she could get something that she thinks she wants and don't like it. I would rather her go find out. So this and this is this is a part of when you find what you're looking for. You as a as a person, I would tell my daughter, go ahead and go find that, right? Yeah, because what she's looking for, she might not like. It takes experience, bro. Like how I found my wife, bro. It took experience. I dated so many girls. I said, I didn't like this, I don't like this, I love this, I don't like this, and I don't like that, but I love this. And when you find that person, you gonna talk to them for a while and you gonna realize, ah, uh no, that's one of them. Nope, I'm good. And that might be that six foot motherfucking 10-inch nigga. Like, she might be like, she might be like, this nigga the shit, but this nigga. Oops, I'm sorry, this nigga something wrong with this dude, but you know what I'm saying? Like, I just it take the experience, so I would rather her go for it, you know what I'm saying? But one thing I'm gonna tell you is I'm not gonna be having this conversation with my daughter. No, you can tell that to your mama.

Uniq: 29:14

Man, one thing too though, it's like we just this the society's putting these three things, putting so much weight on these three things and just negating everything else and not not giving the other the other things, other characteristics any uh real shot. Like these these collective other characteristics are not gonna amount to this one thing out of these three.

Monte: 29:42

I feel like it's a 2025 fad, though. This is some new shit. You know what I'm saying? This is this been like a couple years. I mean, I feel like it's new though, because it all right, so I'm gonna say this this standard came with the women who. Want to be taken care of. And it came like a big fad. This is like, oh, they gotta be this and they gotta be that and they gotta take care of me and they gotta do this. Cause bruh, women in our generation, like our age, it ain't that, bruh. It's the Y N's and the Y-n girls. Like it, that's all it is. They wanna be taken care of.

Uniq: 30:21

Nah, it's some, it's some and it's not my group right now. Forget I'm in a pool right now. I get it, but I get what you're saying, though, for the majority, but they did it. Then it got infected. Then it got infected.

Monte: 30:33

You know what I'm saying? I feel like they've been bruised by by us, though. You know what I'm saying? Like. What do we do? Bruh, hey, come on now, bro. We was some dirty dudes, bro. I didn't do nothing. Yes, I didn't do it, bro. Didn't do bruh.

Ant: 30:50

Not a thing. It's a lot of stuff that we don't think we did as men. That we you go talk back to them same women who we was in the relationships or talking stages with, they be like, you played me. You did play so much stuff, bro. You be like, I ain't do nothing. You ghosted me.

Monte: 31:06

I know I did. I know it. Yeah, for sure. Based off of what I said about the dating shit, bruh, I know it, bro. That's how I felt back in the day. Like, nah, bro, like, we gotta go half on this shit.

Uniq: 31:18

We figured we'll get to the bottom of this.

Ant: 31:20

Look, all right, alright. So one last, one last look, look, uh look question for y'all before we pivot to the next segment, right? So I seen something else. And uh, and a young lady pretty much said, so they was, I'm assuming this, these two people were dating. It was a young lady and a young man. He sends her $2,000, like a $2,000 Apple Pay message for her birthday. He says some sweet stuff with it, hey, happy birthday, love you so much, da-da-da-da, right? She sends the money back. She sends the money back, she says, Hey, I feel like you've done bigger gestures or like you've spent more money on this on other things, so you could have come a little harder. I am gonna go ahead and send your money back because there's other dudes out here who are willing to spend way more money on me. Right? Which I feel about that. Just off first hearing that. I'm gonna let Monte go, but I'm so tired of y'all dude.

Uniq: 32:17

It sounds like, hold on, hold on, real quick. Sick of it. It sounds, it's if that's the breakdown of how it went without without any extra fluff. Yeah, yeah. She did it respectfully.

Ant: 32:28

I mean, though it's I'm so tired. It's like the outcome though. Bruh, bruh, sick of these conversations. I'm not respectfully.

Monte: 32:37

Because what are you saying to me, bro? Like, I sent you two bands, but like, how you know that wasn't all I hate? You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't give a damn if it's people that's spending more money than me. Like, the least you can do is say thank you, bruh. Like, that's crazy, bruh. Like, you sent my shit back, bro. Like, that's that's like you said it was respectful, but that's like a spit in my face, bro. I took the time to send you some money for your birthday. I'm saying happy birthday. You know what I'm saying? Maybe I couldn't get to you in time, you know what I'm saying, bring you flowers and shit. Like, damn, like that's a that's a spit in my face. And then who am I to you?

Uniq: 33:16

My daddy don't want you what type the type of man you are as part of the family. You're not coming. My father does doesn't want you with the type of man or how you coming to me as part of the family. You're not gonna be able to contribute how we as my family are able to contribute to each other.

Monte: 33:36

Oh, I just told her thanks. We shouldn't be dating.

Uniq: 33:39

That's what she did. But that's what she did.

Monte: 33:41

No, because that ain't what she said. She made it seem like it respectful. Yeah, but she made it seem like other guys will send me more money than that. Other people can take care of me better than that.

Uniq: 33:54

That's why we're dating them, and I just figured out that you're not the one for me.

Monte: 33:57

Yeah, but you said family. I'd have been like, okay, I'd have been, hey, if you'd have told me, hey, if you'd have told me, hey, look, look, my daddy sent me $50,000. You got to come better than that.

Ant: 34:09

Hey, so let me let me let me start from the jump, make sure y'all got it. So I'm gonna read the the text verbatim, right? So here's a young man. Happy early birthday, baby. Love you forever, wishing you many more. I'm gonna be asleep at 12, so I'm telling you now. He sent this message at 7.05 p.m. That tells me a hard-working man right there. Right. So that's two thousand. He sent two thousand dollar cash out. He gave her time and everything. She said, thanks, but I'm gonna send it back. I just feel like we've been together way too long for me to only get $2,000 for my B Day. You spent that on food in a month. And I'm not being ungrateful. I just know my worth. Thank you. Thank you though, Cavante. You always been sweet, but this nigga's really out here trying to spin a bag on me. And she sent the $2,000 back.

Monte: 34:54

Guess what? I feel like that was a I think she was bluffing. And I think she wanted some more money, and I think she got her girlfriends in her ear. I don't really think that, I don't really think nobody was spending more money on her because if that's y'all been together for a long time, but I would have flipped the fuck out. Who's spending money on you if we been together for this long?

Ant: 35:19

To flip the fuck out. That's a fair. I would have flipped the money. Very fair, bro. Very fair. And that's what people in the comments were saying. People was like, hey yo, like, fam, if if she said, if she hit you with niggas out here trying to spin the bag on me, go ahead and focus on yourself, my boy. Like, go ahead and like, guess what?

Monte: 35:37

I'm gonna take this $2,000 and pack all your shit up and send it back to you. Thanks. Have a nice day.

Ant: 35:45

Oh my god. They were already in the queue. But from what I heard from women, that's most that's most how most of them move. A woman's not gonna move on like from a relationship until she normally got two, three options already lined up, ready to, you know what I'm saying?

Monte: 35:59

So he must have been, I mean, from what it sounds like, he's he working, you know what I'm saying? And he communicating, but they probably don't see each other that often. She probably tired of his ass or something.

Ant: 36:09

But it's probably it's probably inconsistent, bro. Again, depending on the type of dude she's used to dealing with, especially if she's a young girl who's dating older, she may be dating men who are in a different lane. You know what I'm saying?

Uniq: 36:22

They were talking for too long for this long, or like dating.

Ant: 36:26

She said, Yeah, we have been dating for too long for me to only get $2,000 on my bag.

Monte: 36:30

I'm gonna put some game out there too. Because females sometimes jump the gun and think another man got more than he got. And some people be lying. And I know from experience, because I seen this with with my my cousin, you know what I'm saying? Like, they'll be like, nah, I'm good, cause I got this coming. But the whole time it's a lie. You know what I'm saying? Niggas lie, and niggas is good at lying. You know what I'm saying? So sometimes a female will be like, oh yeah, like she said, she sent that message. She might think that it's three niggas trying to spin a bag on her, telling her that, oh, I'm finna buy you some Balenciaga shoes, and he just got that from the site for 50 bucks. You know what I'm saying? Lying to you and gave you some fake shit, and then you just left a man that's gave you 2,000 real dollars. Real dollars.

Uniq: 37:21

That same nigga that you think and got that bread is flexing him. He knowing that you gotta do, so he knowing that you're gonna go back to this nigga anyway. So he just playing like he gonna do this for you.

Monte: 37:30

Yep. And as soon as, and as soon as you give up them draws, dude gonna, you know, he do gonna play you to the left, and you gonna be trying to get back to what's his name, Kvantae or whatever the hell he came in. And then you're gonna be looking stupid. So it is what it is. But I've seen it firsthand, bruh. So, hey, y'all, hey, that's why I said I'm so tired of this shit, because females, that's how y'all end up being the bitter woman talking about oh, ain't no niggas out here, ain't no me, ain't no real men out here. Because in your younger days, you did this shit. Man, watch out. Man, watch out. Get the fuck out of here.

Ant: 38:05

And I I get it, bruh. I get it, I get it. But unfortunately, this is what these young men have to deal with nowadays, because on the argument, so I seen this post, right? Just to just to wrap this up before we move on. But I was on this post and it was talking about it was like you ain't no you ain't no real gangster, you ain't really from no hood situation if your kid's not in the suburbs right now. Like if you if you from if you from they was like if you from if you from the trenches, if you legit from the trenches and your kids is still in the trenches, you ain't no real motherfucker. Because anybody that really comes from the trenches, your kids speak, they speak hella proper. They in the they in the suburbs, they don't know nothing about that life, bro, because we already know how bad that shit was. That wasn't nothing, wasn't no flex about that. So now, you like you putting your people up in the put in a different type of position now.

Monte: 38:55

Man.

Ant: 38:55

And I was just like, just thinking about it, bro. But with that being said, that means that these young girls, they ain't they ain't cool with $20 no more. You know what I'm saying? They ain't cool with $20. They cool, they like, hey, you remember you used to be able to take $20, go to the mall, take a little chick to the uh movie theater, get some snacks, call it a day. Yeah. Now, nah, nah, bruh. You gotta, you, you gotta send your kid with at least $200.

Uniq: 39:20

Man, nah, nah.

Ant: 39:21

At least.

Monte: 39:23

Nah, man. Like, but I mean, that's for real. That's those type of kids. When my daughter gets to that point where, like, right now, a lot of people will put their kids in Jordans and all of this shit. Guess what? My daughter ain't getting no pair of Jordans until she says, Dad, I like those shoes. You see what I'm saying? Because I like Jordans. If she says, Dad, I like those shoes that you got on, can I get some? Cool, I got you. But she don't like that. She likes girly stuff. So I'm gonna let her get girly stuff. You see what I'm saying? Like, I ain't finna put that on them so they can learn the value of it. So when I when she do say, I want them, I'm gonna be like, Oh, you want these? Cool. These are good grade shoes. You know what I'm saying? These are these type of shoes, these are do your chores shoes. You see what I'm saying? Like, you gotta make it into something like that and make it worth it. But my kids, hey, I work hard. So my kids gonna work hard, you know what I'm saying? And it is gonna be rewarding. You know, I'm not doing, I'm not just giving my kids stuff. So when they see other kids with now, let me say something. One of my partners got straight F's and wasn't on punishment. I got two and was on punishment. That told me something. His parents don't give a damn about him going to school. You see what I'm saying? So I ain't I don't want my that that taught me a lot. My kids ain't finna do that. Just because they got on what they got on, I don't know what I don't know what they parents do. You know what I'm saying? If you want, if you want that, you gotta let me know you want that, and we gonna work it out. We gonna get that. But there's gonna be, if you want some 200, 300 shoes, guess what? Like, babe, you're gonna have to, we're gonna have to figure this out. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? I ain't I ain't sending my kid to school in no Balenciaga for what? For what? You see what I'm saying? These kids, I don't know where they're getting this shit from, but we not doing that. We not doing that, baby. We not doing that. Like, I don't care how much money I got, I'm not sending my kid to school.

Uniq: 41:28

I mean, you gotta understand too, it's the internet. These young boys on the internet making some bread.

Monte: 41:32

Yeah, they scamming, fool. Like, like I'm but hey, I my my daughters don't learn consequences. Like, my hey, hey, look, I ain't saying no name. My little cousin scam. Guess what? He had a bag. Guess what? He let a chick in. Guess what? She hit his ass. You see what I'm saying? Well, I wasn't having a video up.

Uniq: 41:54

I'm doing that saying that.

Monte: 41:54

It's consequences to this shit, bruh. It's consequences, bruh. And the thing about it is, you lucky that them boys that she was rolling with didn't run up in there.

Uniq: 42:05

Right, that was it.

Monte: 42:05

You see what I'm saying? Because he was like, bro, I'm good. I had more than that. Nigga, you I understand where your head at, bruh, but it's consequences to this shit. So scamming could get your ass hit, it could get you shot, it could get you killed, it could get you locked up. Them, them the consequences right there.

Uniq: 42:22

Give me the hundred bands in a week.

Monte: 42:24

Yes, but the risk don't weigh hit. The risk weigh more than the reward, bro. Like, I'm not sure.

Uniq: 42:30

Yeah, you preach, you preach it to them. Hopefully they listening, bro. But I'm looking at 16.

Monte: 42:34

Yeah, I get it. But hey, is a look. All right, so I argue, I argue, and I hate that I'm going so long on this, but I argue with niggas on PlayStation about this. Young niggas that be like, oh, you you old, you uh, bruh. You gotta live to where I'm at, bruh. Like you talking like you don't want to live to 50, bruh. You're here first. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm old, I'm good. And like it speak to what you were saying. Because my kids, bruh, I'm dude told me he said, nigga, you moved out of St. Louis, blah, blah, blah. I said, Yes, nigga, for a job. I was like, I ain't running from nobody. I'm not running from nobody. I want my kids to live good, bruh. You see my crib? I said, you nigga, you said you stay off chambers. That means you live in probably an apartment or a broke down ass crib. So nigga, don't talk to me about what the fuck I left St. Louis for. You know what I'm saying? I left St. Louis to give my family a better place to live, bruh. Better opportunities and shit like that. Nigga, bruh, y'all got to get to where I'm at, bruh. Y'all can't, hey, I'm I'm glad to be an unk, but I'ma get on y'all ass because we call crackheads unk and shit like that back in St. Louis. So y'all gonna have to stop that shit. Bruh, but anyway, they don't give a damn.

Ant: 43:44

Cause like, so I always get the example. It's hard to tell a motherfucker to stove hot when they ain't never burnt their hand, bro. Like, motherfuckers be having to touch shit. You know what I'm saying? You could tell a kid to stove hot 50 times. They ain't gonna know till they touch it. And they sa and they pull that motherfucking hand back. Now they know when shit get a little warm, ha, they pull their hand back. It's hard.

Monte: 44:07

The risk is too high now. That stove is hot as a bullet to the head nowadays.

Ant: 44:11

Yeah.

Monte: 44:12

So it ain't no coming back from that. That's why I'm trying to preach to them because they ain't like y'all not me.

Ant: 44:17

And you, you, you should, you should definitely tell them, plant the seed, you know what I'm saying? It's just unfortunately, we had an opportunity. Your first fight wasn't a fight with a nigga who would literally take you off this map. It was it was the nigga who lived down the street from you. It was a motherfucker who was in the same class as you in kindergarten, first grade, second grade, whatever the case is. So we grew up, it was a it was like trial, like, like unique said, trial and error. So you was able to go outside and get your rocks off and bada da da da. So you you got to scrapping with niggas before it really mattered. These cats having their first fight at 17 when it's high stakes with a nigga who, you know what I'm saying, who live across the city from him. That they that's what the problem is, bro.

Uniq: 44:55

I think it's another thing that's popped in my mind because of that. We got that trial and error. It made us, it built up that metal, it built up that mindset for us to be able to think in different ways because we we've been through different situations and had those experiences. These dudes, like you said, these consequences is more harsh, and they they getting locked up 17 and getting 25 years. You know what I'm saying? Versus us, we was able to get our rocks off and learn from it.

Ant: 45:25

And niggas was going in and out of juvie. Niggas was in there two, three other times.

Monte: 45:29

Like, man, but then that was for stupid shit. Like now, like back in the day, we'd be like, nigga, what's up? I'll beat your ass. Now, nigga, like, what's up, I'll smoke your ass, I'll shoot you in the face. What? Hey, man, I don't want no problems, fool. Like, hey, keep that shit over there.

Ant: 45:43

Cause death is popular now, nigga. Man, back then, like, bro, you remember Boys in the Hood, right?

Monte: 45:49

You remember that scene, Y'all wanna see a dead body?

Ant: 45:52

Yeah, that's why that's because it was rare, though. Yeah. That you know what I'm saying? That's cause even though niggas was gangbanging doing shit, seeing that dead body was actually rare. Nowadays, it's not. You know what I'm saying? Like, them niggas, it's a dead body everywhere. It's always some shit popping off. Hey.

Monte: 46:08

So it's like, well, Jamal, Brandon, LaQuan, all y'all little badass niggas. Check this out, bruh. When you die, you're gonna have a wake, hopefully, awake, a funeral, and niggas gonna forget about you in the next couple days. They're gonna, some gonna think about you and shed a tear, some gonna forget about you, some gonna have a party and go to the club the next night. It's like, bro, you you gonna be celebrated for probably like 48 hours and then remembered. And slowly you're gonna fade away, my nigga. Yep. It's like, cause you, first of all, you 16 or probably y'all, cause y'all young. Y'all didn't have a long life to make an impact on people, bruh. So y'all, when you gone, you gone. Niggas ain't gonna think about you at all, bruh. Like, that's that's that's the bad part, and that's why I'm trying to give y'all a little game, cause y'all don't understand, bruh. Like, we done been, like, me personally, bruh, I done literally been shot at and heard the bullets flying through trees, bruh. Like I've I've I've I've like it like I saw them, you know what I'm saying? Like, and so for y'all to be talking like this and I escaped stuff like that, bruh, y'all, y'all ain't really ran from nobody and had your heart pumping and you had to hit the ground and start rolling and run somewhere different because niggas shooting. Like, y'all don't get it, bro. Like, it's not something to be proud of. Like, when you get away from it, you don't want to be like, yeah, let them niggas shoot at me again so I can run. No, you be like, man, let me get the fucking away from here.

Uniq: 47:43

When I got popped at Northwoods, boy. And you remember when you was there in the court? Learn from that. Don't ever go, don't ever go, don't ever go inside, you know what I'm saying? Nobody's crib like that again. Man. What you got, eh? It's like we're finna move on to the next thing.

Ant: 47:58

Yeah, I mean, it's I'm trying to think, but alright, so look, we're gonna move on to our next, our next round, but it's this is more this or that. So this is our our rapid fire round. So try to think about your stance and then give quick couple of senses on why you are that way. Right? So we we've been talking about marriage a lot on today's episode. So would y'all say marry for love or marry for position?

Monte: 48:25

I hate when you do this. I'm just saying. I say both, but you gotta pick a side. Gotta pick a side. Somebody else go. I'm thinking.

Uniq: 48:33

He um go. No, when you say position, break it down.

Ant: 48:37

So, like leverage, right? So just like we talked about today with old boy, he said he gotta have a trust fund baddie. So he gotta, he's trying to marry for position. He's trying to put himself in position somebody financially so he can live a different life. So you would you say marry for position or marry for love?

Uniq: 48:52

I don't say love because you both could be on the same page to work on getting y'all both into that position. I rock with that. You in that position already and you don't have any love, and that it can crumble. Because now you just doing it because you gotta do what you gotta do. And then now that other things can seep into their relationship and cause turmoil.

Ant: 49:15

You're not wrong. You're not wrong. Some people feel like the uh person is leverage.

Uniq: 49:21

I was gonna say to somebody else you can see that you think is in a better position than then. You married this person for this position, they moved on for another person that's in a better position.

Ant: 49:29

Some people feel like that's cool. You know what I'm saying? Because you have multiple wives or you have multiple like significant others throughout your life. So some people feel like, yeah, that's what it is. It was uh it was that was just on the news. Liz, a lady from Africa did that. She came from overseas, married a dude she had been talking to for a long time, and then like after they was together for like like maybe a year or two, she dipped off and started married another nigga that was paying like all her bills and everything. She ain't had to do nothing. So she literally like ping-ponged her way to success.

Monte: 50:00

Yes. And a lot of people do that. She just, but but like to follow what Unique said, I think that like her her world gonna crumble. You know what I'm saying? Because like her standard's gonna keep going up, and a person's finances ain't gonna be as high as she thinks. So the the thing about that is you always you always gotta contribute just a little bit to keep that standard going, your standard going. Cause ain't nobody like your standard ain't gonna be the same as somebody else's standard, bruh. You know what I'm saying? And marrying for just finance, bruh, like that's gonna end quick. That's gonna end quick, bruh. Cause you ain't gonna like, you ain't like a okay, so a person that thinks, all right, you mean both of them marrying for finances?

Uniq: 50:50

What you mean?

Monte: 50:51

Like, okay, so both of them have this agreement that they just marry in for finances. Like, they not I mean so that's an arranged marriage. They not love, they're not gonna be like, that's what I was gonna say.

Ant: 51:02

Arranged marriage, but a lot of people, bruh, smart, I ain't gonna lie, and a lot of smart people, they marry for business. They marry because it's a contract. Right. Like, we I'm finna bridge this together. So financially, we finna bring our businesses together. We finna bring you know what I'm saying, da-da-da-da-tog.

Monte: 51:18

Okay, so boom. And I always bring it back to my situation, yeah. Because we both marry for want and not need. So when you are stable, like I wasn't stable at the time, but I have the potential to be the man that I am today, pretty much. You know what I'm saying? So my wife, which had a college degree and she knew like where she wanted to go, I didn't really know where I wanted to go, but we married for want and not need. So we wanted each other, like that's love, and we had the finances where we knew we were capable of the finances, you know what I'm saying? So I I I vote love, you know what I'm saying? Because it's like if you love enough, if you love a person enough, you're gonna support them to be successful. You know what I'm saying? You two might be successful like financially successful right now, but you don't know what's gonna happen in the future. So you're marrying for uh a cause that's not stable, you know what I'm saying? Like that makes no sense to me.

Uniq: 52:24

So, what's your answer? You being so combative, you know, it sounds like you want you want that guy from the very beginning that we started with this on this podcast to be a part of your family. He's gonna be a good thing. It seems like a pretty cool guy.

Ant: 52:35

Nah, nah, from where I sit, I definitely would say marry for love, because I feel like it's easier in the long run. Like if you really, if you really love that person and you really stand on the principles of marriage, I definitely say married for love. However, when I think about how, especially America in America, right, how institutionalized that everything is, and you think about how marriage is actually used to get like further in life. A lot of people use it as like a like a stepping stone into places. And if you look at it, those people tend to have more successful marriages because it's a controllable situation. Like I'm marrying you for your money or for your success, and we both are aware of this. When you marry for love, a lot of people, it's an emotional situation. Optics. I mean, yeah, optics, yeah, yeah. I mean, when they say that, but like most motherfuckers who are married on the inside, bruh. Yeah. But bruh, them people be so twisted anyway. They'll they'll be like, uh, they so twisted.

Uniq: 53:34

You want to live with it mentally and have her to deal with it. And that's how the people end up cracking. Right. And then now you won't snap.

Ant: 53:43

Right, right. Now you done jumped off a building because you're doing too much. Alright, but like, we spent too much time on that one. So next one. So still stand on that uh relationship tip, right? So the natural and nurturing woman who looks less than average, right? So natural and nurturing woman who looks less than average, or the bad and bougie chick, but she has no like life skills, no home.

Monte: 54:12

Say that again, because I was not paying attention.

Ant: 54:14

So the natural and nurturing woman who is less than average on the looks, right? Mm-hmm. Or a bad chick who doesn't have any like home skills. She don't have any like home life skills.

Monte: 54:28

Bruh, come on now. Man, we've been talking about this for hellas. I am gonna take the first choice. Why? Because, like I said before, I've dealt with that before. The bad model chick with no home training that just don't have the her attitude is horrible.

Uniq: 54:47

Like it's it said no home training. It ain't said attitude. That comes with the home training. Nah, you can be you can teach that home training.

Monte: 54:54

No, you can't.

Uniq: 54:55

That's why it's called home training.

Monte: 54:58

I'm gonna take a home and we're gonna train. So look, we're gonna train home. I'm looking at that as if we passed the molding phase. I'm not molding no chick. Once you figure out you can't mold the chick into what you want to do. You can't mold nobody. But I'm saying you can't mold nobody. So once you get past figuring that shit out, them the two options you got right there.

Uniq: 55:20

Hey, and I'm with you. So you're telling me you can't teach anybody's no thing.

Monte: 55:25

Absolutely. You can you can teach okay. No, a man is not supposed to lead. Okay, a leader is supposed to lead. But a leader, oh no, you're not. Once you get to a certain age, bruh, you ain't supposed to be never stopped teaching. No, bruh, like, look, y'all supposed to be teaching each other. You see what I'm saying? If you teaching the person and you dragging them along like a caboose, no. No, hell no. I'm I'm leading, but you got to have some, like, look, I'm leading. It's like this the the bike with the the two the two the two cycles, you can't be back there not peddling. You see what I'm saying? No. I can teach you. Yes, teaching, yes, I can teach you some things, but manners, bruh, that's some shit that you can't just you no, oh no. Some people go ahead, go ahead.

Ant: 56:19

I'm gonna go somewhere. Listen, because this this this conversation can definitely get deep, right? Yeah, I think there's a different, there's a bunch of different points that can be made. There's a but there's a bunch of different points that can be made. These niggas. But from from that, I want to deal with that standpoint of uh damn, I lost that shit. Nigga said, find it, nigga. Uh teaching it? Yeah, but nah, like when it comes, like, yeah, but teaching like in a relationship. So when it comes to like, because I definitely agree that like the man is supposed to teach in a relationship. However, I think that they get misconstrued a lot of the time. Because the man, it's not supposed to be like a child parent relationship or like a teacher-student relationship. It's supposed to be more like modeled behavior. Like this is the way I carry myself, this is the way I move in a room, this is the way I make decisions. You know what I'm saying? So I definitely agree with that being said, but that's why, because, and I I didn't say we would have to paint the whole profile of like what the bad and bougie woman is versus what the nature, like the nurturing woman is. Because we didn't talk about attitudes and if she's gonna listen to what you say and all that stuff. We just more so talking about like, do you want the chick who you know you ain't gotta worry about taking her home? She's gonna take her home. She just don't necessarily look all that great. So when it's time to go out and stuff, you're gonna be able to deal with her looking pretty mediocre versus the chick.

Monte: 57:44

Damn, wait a minute, man.

Ant: 57:46

You you ain't say that. Yeah, I'm talking about like she's like, I ain't say she cleaned up well. I said she look average on the look scale. So below average. Damn. So I mean every time you get up and leave, family reunions, all of that, church, nigga, go anytime you go anywhere in public, she looking a little below average.

Monte: 58:03

Damn, bruh. Cause that's got who that's got a that's got the potential for my kids to have that. You see what I'm saying? What you mean have what? The looks average.

Ant: 58:16

She said that. Nah, below average. But but that's what I'm saying. But the same thing is for the woman who's beautiful. Now, when you get up and leave the house with her, you know you're getting compliments, everybody gonna look your way, da da da. It's great. Y'all look good.

Monte: 58:27

Yeah, but you can see chicken like Krishna Rock, bro. No.

Ant: 58:32

Yeah, so stuff like that. I'm serious. Stuff like that, though. Like she eats chicken like that, she don't clean up at herself. She like dishes, dishes, laundry. I didn't say she ain't have hygiene. That's right. That's sanitation. I'm talking about just home life skills. Like, she don't clean up the kitchen, she don't cook as it could be some stuff like that.

Uniq: 58:55

I wanted to say real quick, and spin it on, like, you also gotta think about her a her ability to be able to learn, but also be a sponge and exorbit and be able to apply it. You know what I'm saying? Because if that's if that's something that she can do, man, that's that's a dhamma doesn't. Yeah.

Monte: 59:15

But the thing about that is Alright, so when you think of when you think about something like that, a person gonna learn good manners from somewhere. Even if if they a sponge, they ain't gonna take just the bad manners that they getting from home. They gonna find it somewhere. You know what I'm saying? They gonna find it from a TV show and be like, huh.

Uniq: 59:39

But you ain't never seen nobody that was had a horrible family one you you know I'm saying like let's say you met a nice guy in school. You probably have somebody in school like this. Nice guy, and then you see who his family and who he's attached to, his mom and his father, and they just look like trash. They act like trash, and he's a kind boy. Or girl, stuff like that. You're like, damn, how did he get this? Where do we learn this from? Because it's like, for me.

Monte: 1:00:07

He had horrible examples. For me, I had a father who wasn't really there. But I thought to myself, I never will treat my kid like that. You see what I'm saying? That's where that comes from. It's like I ain't not gonna be like them. You know what I'm saying? That's what that's some nerds be coming from abusive places, you know what I'm saying? Homes and stuff, because they like, man, look, I'm finna get out of this world. I'm finna, I'm finna do whatever I can to get away from this bull crap. You know what I'm saying? So it it sometimes they come from trauma, you know what I'm saying? Like being being opposite and and learning manners and stuff. So, but like like you say, that woman would have to be receptive to that. She'd be, she'd she'd have to be the sponge, or you wouldn't, you ain't gonna like you're not gonna keep teaching somebody that ain't listening. You feel me? Like, but that's where I come from. That's where I look at those types of situations. Like, are they gonna listen? And you're gonna, that's gonna be a lot of time wasted.

Ant: 1:01:10

A lot. But some people, and so that's the thing, we just to tie back to something we was talking about earlier. That's the whole point of like not showing up with your representative and then trying to look through other people's representative. Because a lot of people in the beginning are trying to win you over, they're not trying to be themselves, they're trying to figure out what's the best position I can put myself in to make sure that this person don't go nowhere. Right. Make sure that this person stick around, still rock with me, and stuff like that. So you got to kind of pick up. But you that I think that's part the part of it is having a level of discernment to know what type of people you're even supposed to allow close to you. That's why we're supposed to take it more seriously. Like when we talk about being social or even on the dating scene, you're supposed to cut people off quick. You're supposed to get them up out of here because that's what that's when bad stuff happened. When you let people stick around too long, you know what I'm saying? You ain't you ain't cut it where we're supposed to. Yeah, you you looked over too many red flags, now you like, oh dang, hot getting this situation. Yeah, like and we really supposed to cut that off at the at the jump. Oh, okay, they said it was a one-time thing. It don't even matter.

Monte: 1:02:13

Like at that point, like okay, but that's it's it's people, bruh. Yeah, they like that shit. Yeah, they like that shit. They like the fact that, oh, we broke up and now we back together, but now y'all don't really like each other. But you know what I'm saying?

Ant: 1:02:30

All right, hold on. I feel like we should use this as an opportunity to wrap up. Let's give some people some advice because I feel like all of us have been in a situation where things have gotten abusive, whether it was physically or emotionally or like verbally, regardless of how it popped up, we've been in a situation where it was toxic and we can recognize this is a very toxic situation for me. So give give the people some advice. What's something people should look for or people should avoid doing during that like dating phase that'll help them avoid getting into a bad spot? What y'all think that is? I know it, I know it's deep, and maybe I maybe I'll I'll I'll I'll leave because give y'all time to think I'm starting actually thinking of this. For me personally, I think that if we got into the habit of reflecting after we had either conversations with these people or meetups with these people, and legitimately asked ourselves just simple questions. How did I feel about that? How do I feel like this could have gone better? Do I feel like this is the person that I'm looking for? And I as little stuff like that, bruh. And if you actually answer those questions, honestly, you would get yourself out of a lot of situations. But what we do is we hang on to stuff that don't matter. Man, I feel like we really was vibing tonight. What does that have to do with this person's long time ability to be in your life? If they if y'all vibe tonight. Oh, we ain't argue one time today. Why is that the score cheat, nigga? Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, why is it that you had to get to a point where you didn't argue with this motherfucker? Versus you why how do we even get to a point where we looking forward to that? Why when did you start accepting those things? And that's the thing. We don't even, we couldn't even tell you. When did you start accepting that badass behavior? Shit. It's always been like that. How did they make it past the first step? You know what I'm saying? Like, and that's where I just want us to like just stop, get yourself some time, reflect on that situation. You met this new person. Are they, did they just excite you? Or do you feel like they legitimately are a good person and you could you could carry them with you through life? Legit.

Uniq: 1:04:36

Yeah.

Ant: 1:04:36

You know what I'm saying? What what advice should I get?

Uniq: 1:04:39

Mine can be short, but it's like from my experience and what I've uh gathered from my past relationships and stuff. As soon as there's a person that you're talking to, that you're dating, is not receptive to how you how they've made you feel. I'm not saying listen, I'm saying receptive, meaning they're receiving it, they're talking and communicating it back to you, and that tries to understand what they've done. No matter if they feel that they haven't done any wrong, they need to be receptive of that and hear you. So that person is not doing that and they have a rebuttal, go ahead and nix it because now they're trying not they're not trying to grow and help and be with you and uh change and do things better. It rocks with that. I agree with that.

Monte: 1:05:38

For me, I'm gonna say communicate when you're tired and unhappy. Because what people usually do is they just keep going and say, well, hopefully it'll get better, you know. But if you unhappy and you're not communicating, you unhappy, that person don't know that you're unhappy. You might be and doing all that type of stuff, but they might think that you just, you know, like you just being you. You know what I'm saying? So you need to communicate, like if you don't, if you tired of this person, and it might be the smallest thing, you know what I'm saying? Like, it could be the smallest thing that somebody could change and make you the happiest you've ever been, but you gotta communicate that. I don't know if you unhappy unless you tell me you're unhappy. Because most of the time people just go out and just live their lives and be unhappy, you know what I'm saying, and pretend that they're happy. So I would say communicate. Communicate, you gotta kind of say F how this person's okay, most people say this is how this person's gonna react. You don't know how you the person gonna react until you do it. You know what I'm saying? Stop assuming, right? Allegations, you know, stop assuming and go for it, especially if it's internal to yourself. Like, that's that's one thing about emotional intelligence. You know what I'm saying? You gotta be, you gotta like, you gotta know yourself, and then you gotta be able to communicate how you feeling. You know what I'm saying? Because if you sitting there holding it in, what's the what's that's gonna do? It's just gonna make you more upset and you're gonna internally, you're just gonna blow up. So you know what I'm saying? Just communicate and everything will be okay, or maybe not, but do it.

Ant: 1:07:24

I I'll rock with it. I feel like y'all got some solid advice, though. I feel like from different perspectives too. But this ain't the only time we'll be able to give y'all some advice on this subject. It's a lot of no dating conundrums out there that we definitely gonna touch base on. But I appreciate y'all rocking with us, man. Let us know how this season has been. We got some new vibes for y'all, new structure. So we definitely need some feedback. Uh, but this has been another episode of the Trinity Trophies Podcast. Y'all got anything before we get up out of here? Nah, man.

Monte: 1:07:54

Your sister just said she wouldn't date a nigga like me back in the day.

Ant: 1:07:58

She wouldn't date a lot of niggas like a lot of us. All right, we uh,