Speaker 1: 0:16

Welcome back to another episode of the changes to trophies podcast. I'm your boy, ant, and we're here to talk about something real, real, spicy today. But I want to make sure I introduce my co-host the right way. Uh, we got my boy unique, who is a army vet, barber, entrepreneur, and we got my boy monte corleone, who is a musician and on his way to being a engineer. I don't know. I want to say rapper, but do you?

Speaker 2: 0:42

would you wear that title like would you say you?

Speaker 1: 0:44

still wear that title. Okay, so I don't want to cut rapper, but would you wear that title? Would you say you still wear that title? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3: 0:54

So I don't want to cut you off on the intro but bruh told me to kind of highlight this because I am going to go back into where I am rapping again. I don't want to stop that money.

Speaker 2: 1:01

One of my close friends was like hey, man, I don't know why you putting that mic down. He heard one of the episodes and was like bro, if you still love music, man, don't put that mic down. So you know, I picked it back up and seeing what I could do or whatever. Like I still got it. I just you know, like I said before, I ain't going to put too much time into it, like I'm trying to do. This is literally a high because I like doing music yeah, I rock with that though.

Speaker 3: 1:27

Okay, so I think but I think that's something smarter people even if it's just for therapy.

Speaker 1: 1:31

No, we get out something you know.

Speaker 3: 1:32

I'm saying what we're gonna do, but like just go out there music.

Speaker 1: 1:36

So there depends, it's okay, all right, cool. So we don't.

Speaker 3: 1:41

We don't work on that, we don't work on this consideration and you're saying you gotta on that, take it into consideration. Ain't saying you got to do it, just consider it. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely, some people they too proud for you. Definitely yeah, because people always need some type of like ear that some people can't hear what you trying to do.

Speaker 2: 1:55

You know what I'm saying. So sometimes it's good to reach out to other people. I you know what I'm saying. If you ever need some type of engineering music I do podcasts, music, all that always reach out and try to do something different.

Speaker 2: 2:14

Got another ear yeah yeah, right, and that's with everything. Because say, for instance, you got cancer or they want a doctor says, oh, you have cancer, but you feel amazing Like go see another doctor and if that doctor say, no, I don't see any signs of cancer, go see another doctor, just to be sure you know what I'm saying. So always use your resources and get second and third opinions before you make a split second decision.

Speaker 1: 2:59

I rock with that. And just to bounce off your point, even doctors do that. So we've been going to the doctor lately and they had to do glucose tests. They literally make you do three and you gotta pass two of them. So even them on that side are practicing that same logic. You know what I mean. So if you really want to get out there and do it you know what I mean apply yourself, see how it look from all angles and then you can give yourself a real answer. But just to bring that back around.

Speaker 1: 3:24

But today we're going to talk about some real dope stuff. You know what I mean. We're going to talk about manhood a little bit, and I know that that subject is kind of broad. I don't want y'all to feel like we're going to be on here like this is what a man is today. That ain't where we coming at. But I do want to deal with some real world scenarios and and see how y'all would navigate it for one. And then, of course, we had to give some gems to the folks so that they know if they ever get caught up in something. This is how. These are the options, at least that you have, right, right? So let's start with uh young diddy. Uh, you know, I mean this has been a hot, hot topic in a lot of situations, but recently remember start treating that boy like voltimore.

Speaker 3: 4:02

Hey look, he who should not be named. Bro, don't say that man name.

Speaker 1: 4:06

Nah man, diddy Bop Cash was out here doing the Diddy dance. Cat bro Cash used to love Diddy. Everybody was watching Making the Band. You know what I mean. Like we all endorsed him.

Speaker 3: 4:16

Don't sit there lying like me. Hey, hold up.

Speaker 2: 4:18

Everybody at least wanted to see you seasons, you watching summer it's so funny because I literally just wrote a song and I said, doing my little ditty, I changed the whole line.

Speaker 3: 4:30

I changed my whole line at this point because I thought about it.

Speaker 2: 4:34

I was like it was. It was cold, though, like the whole. Look, you know what I'm saying I was like damn, it fucked me up he, he fucked my whole little line up, but I feel like he did that for a lot of folks, so all right, so to jump up to the topic but I feel like he did that for a lot of folks.

Speaker 1: 4:44

So all right. So to jump up to the topic, because I feel like this goes hand in hand, right? So terrence howard recently came out and he was. He had some comments about you know, diddy trying to diddy him no, he had an interview that came out yeah, well, what was it? I think he was on a podcast, right? No?

Speaker 2: 4:59

I'm just saying he said he came out, I was just, I was just like putting it in came out and said y'all the correct verbiage be picking out so, but what I'm saying is he was on a podcast platform.

Speaker 1: 5:10

He had some comments about you know diddy trying to make some moves on him in the past. While we gonna get there, right, I do want to talk about y'all. And I'm not saying have you ever been tested like in the diddy type of way, but with being a, being a musician, with being in the military, with being in the public in general, there's times where your manhood is tested. It could have been back in school where somebody tried to take your your lunch money type stuff. It could have been when you was in the military. Could have been when you was in the streets, when you switched schools cast, didn't know you. You know what I'm saying. So people might have tested your manhood. Do y'all have like a, a particular moment that you can think of up to this point, right?

Speaker 1: 5:49

so from young adulthood up to this point where your manhood was tested, you know I'm saying if, if you do have a good story, go ahead and share that with the folks, so like we can.

Speaker 3: 5:57

Uh, let's talk about it the fact that we laughing about this that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 6:04

Like. That's how I'm like laugh now, so look the like.

Speaker 2: 6:10

I have no problem with that community, but the amount of creeps that were back in the day like that, it was unbelievable. So I I think I might have been like 17.

Speaker 3: 6:22

Were they creeps or predators, both Okay.

Speaker 2: 6:26

At this point. But so I'm. I got into it with my mom One day, you know, and I had. I had this girlfriend Whose mom Allowed me to stay Over at her house or whatever. So I got Upset at my mom. I'm on my way you know what I'm saying To the MetroLink. Basically, that's the train. For people that don't know what the metro link is you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2: 6:44

so, uh, I was on my way I was on my way walking to the uh metro link and I was upset. You know I'm saying I was, I probably was rapping to myself too. You know I'm saying walking and this dude was like hey, whoo. Hey, bro, you need a ride. I don't know why I said yeah, but I was like, yeah, dude had his hat backwards Two goals. I remember it like it was yesterday. You know what I'm saying. I'm like, yeah, bro, you know what I'm saying. So we, I hop in the car Driving. I was like you need any money or anything. You know what I'm saying. He was like, nah, where you trying to go. I was like, nah, where you trying to go. I was like up the street to the Metrolink or whatever. He was like, oh man, I got you, bro, drove up there. And on the ride, bro, he touched my thigh, bro. I was like what are you doing, bro, hold on, calm down. He was like, nah, it's okay. I was like what you mean? It's okay. You know what?

Speaker 3: 7:41

I'm saying what are you saying to me? They always say that it's okay trying to reaffirm you Like. No, you'll be fine.

Speaker 2: 7:48

Nah, you tripping, bro. That's crazy. So I'm wigging out. At this point I'm like what are you doing, bro? So he's looking at me and trying to drive, so he's pulling over a little bit and tries to do it again. At that point I moved to the side like a swivel chair, bro, like and start kicking the shit out of dude bro, like so bro. I mean I was kicking dude so hard, bro like and that like your life depending on it.

Speaker 2: 8:19

Right, yeah, bro because, because I didn't know what was going on, but like it was, like it was a shock to you Absolutely, bro, like that didn't make no sense At that point. I couldn't you know. I don't know, bro.

Speaker 3: 8:33

Like you know Fight or flight mode? I was just finna say that, because in that situation Some people Would give in. You know what I'm saying it wouldn't they? Wouldn't they gonna fold under that? You know what I'm saying. Yep, that's why they become victims, and then that's, unfortunately, how some of these people End up turning that way. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, so I don't want to Cut your story off, but yeah, oh no, that was the end of the story, because I can't Speak on what happened next.

Speaker 2: 8:58

Yeah, you know, of being grown now I know what I did next. I could have handled the situation better or I could have did something else, but that's not what I did. So, you know, I got to the metro link and I went to my girlfriend's house. To that point, you know I made it to where I was going safely, but like I just you know that that right there just happened. You know I'm saying, and most like, look, if you really think about it, I shouldn't have hopped in that car. You know what I'm saying. And most like, look, if you really think about it, I shouldn't have hopped in that car. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 9:28

Like I didn't know him, I, but I was also, I'm a male, I'm 17. I know, like, like what happened. I know I can handle myself, so I ain't really tripping. You know what I'm saying. And and being from being from where I'm from, that was the wrong move. Like, absolutely it was the wrong move. But Like, absolutely it was the wrong move. But you know what I'm saying. I don't know what I was thinking at that point you know.

Speaker 3: 9:51

All right, so I know. You just told us this. You know what I'm saying now, but after that happened, did you tell anybody? Mm-hmm, Okay, Like it was kind of quick. Reason I'm asking because some people, like I said, be in the CC ways and they're going to hold that in.

Speaker 2: 10:05

Yeah, I was like, yeah, they're going to hold that in Nah once I got to where I was going, I told my girlfriend at the time, I told her mom, her mom called my mom and my mom ended up calling me and letting me know like she heard happened and you know, blah, blah, blah, blah and she you know she was, she was just like you know mother and son stuff.

Speaker 3: 10:27

You know that's good. You know I'm saying y'all checked in everybody. It was a little network yeah everybody checked in with each other. You know I'm saying and what about you. And what about you, bro?

Speaker 1: 10:37

you got since you asked us. You know, I'm saying I run it back, I tell mine no, I mean, I feel like I've had a bunch of situations where my manhood was tested, bro. The question is, what story am I gonna tell um start for one for all right, most impactful. You know what I'm saying most impactful is a little is a little different, so all right. So my manhood is always tested over a female for whatever reason, bro like I don't know what it is in life it's.

Speaker 1: 11:07

It's interesting though, because I so I want y'all to think about this when you in a, when you in a group of guys, it's normal for you to kind of be battle tested, right like a cat to kind of push you. I'm faster than you, I'm stronger than you. Let's arm wrestle, let's. You know, I'm saying back in the day, pencil break, like you know. I'm saying you want uh trading licks.

Speaker 2: 11:24

You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 11:25

Like we, it was uh, yeah, you know it was. You used to have to prove yourself for whatever reason, bro, them issues I ain't never had them. Issues like trading licks, whatever me and my homies was always good. I always got into it with somebody over a female bro. All right, so I'm at a church picnic. Yeah, I know that's crazy. That's where I'm starting. I'm at a church picnic. Yeah, I know that's crazy. That's where I'm starting. I'm at a church picnic. I'm all of maybe 15, 16 years old. Now.

Speaker 1: 11:51

My girlfriend at the time was full figure, you know what I mean, as far as, like, she had curvy legs and everything. But we were swimming for the church picnic. Mind you, all the teenagers are the ones who went swimming. Nick, mind you, all the teenagers are the ones who went swimming. Bro, this grown extra stocky dude bro came and was trying to talk to my girlfriend at the time. Now, mind y'all, 15, 16. Now, I don't know everybody listening, I don't know if it's the same in this generation, but when we was 15, 16, nigga, I thought I was finna bang with the world Like it didn't matter who was going to come up, like I was going. You know what I mean.

Speaker 3: 12:23

I thought I could kind of whoop anybody. You know what I'm saying. You starting to feel yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're going to puff your chest out a little bit more, because you're trying to prove yourself. You're trying to prove yourself Especially around a female.

Speaker 1: 12:36

And maybe that's what it was. Maybe a nigga was starting to poke his chest out too much with. It's cool, you know what I mean. But long story short, bro, we end up going to a swimming pool. She got a swimming suit on, obviously, so he started making remarks. Now y'all know that I got an anger problem and my anger is a little different. Like, while a lot of y'all tend to crash out, I guess I crash in Like nigga. I'm sitting there boiling like the whole time waiting on that fuse to kind of cook down, and waiting on that fuse to kind of cook down, and then I'm finna, blow up on you. So dude was hollering at my chick. I had, I had grabbed her away, told her to. I pulled her away. He got mad because I told her to, like, get off the water and, like you know, come chill with me. Now I'm looking back on this. I'm like nigga, I shouldn't have to say anything, but anyway I had to call her out, right?

Speaker 3: 13:18

no, no, no you trying to say you should let it play out I should, I should have as a man, and it would have told you right then and there we talk about manhood what that person lies.

Speaker 1: 13:28

What that person was willing to be okay with. But again we was kids and that was a grown man, so my issue wasn't really the loyalty at that time.

Speaker 3: 13:36

It was this cat disrespecting me. You know what I'm saying. It's good to look back at old lessons.

Speaker 1: 13:40

Yeah, yeah for sure. And that's why I'm saying like, reflected on that, I'm like huh, like I probably shouldn't have made that decision. So, if anybody listening, you see how, when you reflect on in the younger days, sometimes that path, that story, it's all fun and games until you look at the mini lessons, like Unique was saying, you're like dang, I probably shouldn't have did that, I shouldn't have made that move at that particular time, exactly. But bro, so anyway, I called her out, dude get mad, and he started like punching the water, bro, the funniest thing, bro, he started like talking under his breath.

Speaker 3: 14:13

It was like I guess he was trying to flex. I should have said this nigga went Bro. I'd immediately thought of a pillow. But look, look. My second thought why did I picture a squirtle punching water?

Speaker 1: 14:35

Little Pokemon, bro. Yeah, but the thing is, for me it was funny Because I was with shout out to my boy BJ. I was with my boy BJ at the time and he was kind of like bro, like don't worry about it, Like dude looks soft type stuff. You know what I'm saying, he big but dude looks soft. And then he was like he trying to hop down like a young female. You know what I'm saying? Dude ain't all the way there, so I wasn't really tripping. I'm very petty, right, like very, very petty. If you've known me, for some years I used to have hats that had the word petty on it. Nigga, that's how petty I am.

Speaker 2: 15:13

I went back to the pool because we ended up all walking back up to the picnic at that point, what happened?

Speaker 3: 15:20

I said for real Yo, seriously, yes.

Speaker 1: 15:22

Nigga, I had a red one and a white hat. Look, nigga, I'm like yeah, I had a red one and a white one.

Speaker 3: 15:25

Nigga, that's how petty my is. I got a video, you know, I got receipts Proud petty nigga.

Speaker 1: 15:29

I don't care, bro, but see, that's what I'm saying. It was a different type of petty. I wasn't like sassy petty like these niggas is today. Nah, yeah, I the parents hear what's going on. They call all the kids back up to the little pavilion or whatever. Right, we all got to go back up there. Y'all know my situation with my parents. I don't really be monitored as closely as other kids would. So I went back, bro. I was like, nah, I was like I feel like I feel buddy, I feel buddy as hell. I feel like I got mad, but I ain't down there, bro. He wasn't nowhere to be found, bro, but it just kind of like. Even reflecting on it now, it shows you how deep that can go. Like as a man, I felt tested. I felt like I should have been in a different situation. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 16:17

But, it's cool. It's cool To this day. I ain't gonna lie. I got a little warm telling that story, because warm telling that story, but I feel like I should have.

Speaker 3: 16:24

Yeah, you feel like your manhood was you. It was tried it was tried.

Speaker 1: 16:28

You feel like you didn't you didn't stick up for yourself like how you should how I should have, because I did something, I reacted obviously because, dudes, you know what I'm saying, but I feel like for what I consider to be the definition of manhood, which is what I'm gonna talk to y'all about next, what I feel like my definition of manhood was I feel like I didn't embody it in that moment and that and that that messed with me. You know what I'm saying. I was like, so I was trying to really get my leg back.

Speaker 3: 16:50

I'm like nah. So have you always felt like all right now, since that situation happened, you never got your leg back from this day forward from this day forward. It's not gonna ever happen again like you're not gonna.

Speaker 1: 17:01

You're not gonna sun me. So one thing is like I'm one of them people who I walk away from conflict. I don't care you call me, so I don't really worry about that because it ain't worth my life in a lot of situations. But if I'm in a situation where I feel like you legit trying to sun me, like it ain't no conflict and you know some shit going on, but you trying to legit little boy me, we have an issue like we have a huge issue, bro, you know what I'm saying. So it's like I don't know, because even montay he's worked with me before. Bro, even I don't care what your title is as a boss, you try to make me feel small. Now we have a problem. I have an issue with you. You know what?

Speaker 2: 17:43

I'm saying because it was not okay. Forget all that, because you can't whoop my ass Now about this job issue. You know what I'm saying I never really thought about it like that.

Speaker 3: 17:59

But look, if somebody can look at that situation and kind of what you said and say that's a pride thing.

Speaker 3: 18:04

Absolutely look at that, though, situation and kind of what you said and say that's a pride thing, absolutely, and that's something that, um, you gotta get over because that could be hindering you from growth. But I think every man should have a sense of pride about themselves. But I think I think it's the level of pride of distinguishing it between, I guess, being very happy with yourself I can't find a better word for it but satisfied with how you are as a man, but not being prideful in a way where it's negative and harming yourself, you know what I'm saying Right right.

Speaker 3: 18:36

From other situations or even blessings that you got coming your way. Your prideful ass can't get out of the way of yourself.

Speaker 1: 18:43

Now you're losing a woman. You're not. You're not wrong, bro, do you think?

Speaker 2: 18:47

pride can be singled out, like you can have pride about certain things, about yourself like taking pride in something yes, you know what I mean. Like not your entire self, because you know I'm saying like as a whole, everybody has a flaw, so you ain't you ain't really proud of your whole entire self, but there's certain things that you should be proud.

Speaker 3: 19:12

You know I'm saying you should have pride in yourself, for I think that's when we got to bring in that humble humbleness. You know, I'm saying because you, you're boasting yeah you know I'm saying yeah, essentially yeah right. So that's the key. Like it's okay to be proud, yeah, but you know I'm saying don't be prideful, be humble.

Speaker 1: 19:33

You know, I'm saying I like that, though, because you gotta make room. So essentially what you just said like you can have pride, pride can be in the mix, but you can't be full of it. You got to make room for the other things to be added into it. So I I definitely agree with that. Uh, but before we get too far off, because I do want to hit on a couple of very important things before we get far off.

Speaker 2: 19:49

Nigga, what was your story? Yeah, that's what I'm saying, like, what was your story? Because we was rolling like a locomotive with no brakes.

Speaker 1: 20:00

We were gonna come. That's why I said I got some things I want to touch on. So all right, um, no break. Nah, we was finna come. That's why I said I got some things I want to touch on.

Speaker 3: 20:03

So All right With me. I think y'all have heard this story, but y'all probably don't know this one. I'm finna go, my sister was having pride when I was like 15, 15, yeah, 15, 16, something. But long story short. And this is why, uh, you know I'm saying y'all parents be careful, or y'all let your where, y'all let y'all kids go. You know I'm saying, uh, going on somebody's career or something like that, when they're young, like I was, you know I'm saying 15. So you know I'm saying so I was older, for sure, but so, and I know how to defend myself. But still, if somebody who's kind of weak-minded you know I'm saying the child, or they're very, uh, naive, you know I'm saying they can be taken advantage of. But long story short, yeah, I spent all night over this dude. You know I'm saying career with my family.

Speaker 3: 21:00

We all knew each other, you know I'm saying and we watching the movie, just cooling, you know, I'm saying. And dude straight up asked me can he give me fellatio?

Speaker 1: 21:11

the young cat like a young dude. We the same age.

Speaker 3: 21:14

Okay, yeah, he was same age. We said exact same age. Asked me I don't know what, why he thought he could ask me. You know, I'm saying that. But he asked me Could he give me that? And we at his crib, we in the living room, his people's in the In the room over, you know what I'm saying? They room. I told him straight up I said I'll kill you, bro. In his crib. I said I'll kill you, bro.

Speaker 1: 21:36

In there.

Speaker 3: 21:37

Straight up, left it like that. I saw him multiple times. You know what I'm saying, but he went to that church.

Speaker 1: 21:46

Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.

Speaker 3: 21:47

Yeah, so I tell her that's what it was. I called my pops. I ain't say nothing to nobody, I just said just come pick me up. You know what I'm saying? Left it like that. So that's what happened to my having my situation. I nipped that in the butt real quick you never told nobody no, I ain't telling my pops.

Speaker 1: 22:05

Not his like, not the authority figure.

Speaker 3: 22:07

No I ain't telling nobody, I ain't, I ain't thinking, I ain't feel like I needed to because, like I said, I feel like I handled like I should. I ain't hurt him. He was in his crib, I could have.

Speaker 1: 22:15

I mean, I ain't saying I should have, but but because he didn't react on anything after I said that yeah, but yeah, that I'm not you know what's crazy, though, bro, because, like, thinking back on it at when we that age well, we like you, you respond to what you were supposed to right you feel like level he on level ground with you and everything. But now, thinking back, we older, that mean somebody was introducing him to that.

Speaker 3: 22:39

You know what I'm saying like you think about it like we 15, you 15, and then looking like I said, we looking back on situations and no, we now we know more information about certain things. I'm not surprised, right, I'm saying yeah, I'm not surprised, that was going on, you know and it's, but it all right.

Speaker 1: 22:56

So to go into manhood right, because I feel like all of us though there were some similarities in some of the stories all of us have a different version of manhood I think that all we all reacted a little bit differently. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Like you were more verbal, you were more like, set the tone and then he respected it. From there you actually had to put hands on somebody and like let them have you know legs?

Speaker 1: 23:16

I guess not, right, right, you know what I'm saying bro was literally heel towingeing on the nigga's face. But then for me you know again, it was threats exchanged but nothing actually like popped off. So all of us obviously different scenario, different version of me, all of us thank God, all of us weren't victims. Right and we walked away.

Speaker 3: 23:37

Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 23:40

Because it could have went like nine days. Obviously, a lot of of situations kids don't make it out of that. Shout out to the young boy what's his name. I forget him. Young black kid ended up stabbing one of the little little white boys. And now they got him.

Speaker 3: 23:52

I heard that story. Yeah, I heard that story. Man, we gotta I gotta do some more reading up on that so he just to give y'all an excerpt on what right?

Speaker 1: 23:58

there's a young black dude, he's a, he's a track athlete. Apparently, you know, uh, very gifted, very, um, very intelligent, got like a 4.0 through his school and everything. But apparently there was two twins, two twin little white boys, right, who they confronted him at a track meet under a tent right, this is under a tent. They say he didn't belong there, he wasn't supposed to be there. Mind you, he's a track athlete, they're not. So in that scenario, you tell me who not supposed to be there? Mind you, he's a track athlete, they're not. So in that scenario, you tell me who's not supposed to be there, right? However, a scuffle exchanged and he ended up stabbing one of the little boys. Uh, and they're, he's. No, that little boy's no longer here.

Speaker 3: 24:33

So now the little black kid is on trial, they trying to call him a thug and say all these things right, and of course it's not self-defense right.

Speaker 1: 24:40

But if you think that goes with the what we're talking about today as far as manhood? Because do you feel like? Because a lot of people are asking like it's not bad that he defended himself, but did he go too far, right Did?

Speaker 3: 24:49

he have to take his life.

Speaker 1: 24:50

Yeah, yeah, stuff like that.

Speaker 3: 24:51

So it's like so that's like in the military, they train, of course they're training you, but, like when you're overseas, stuff like that, you have rules of engagement and, like you have to uh, conduct yourself according to the threat level. Yeah, yeah, so like. But even in civilian where, like you, it's a sustained, it's overkill yeah, you know what I'm saying, uh, but I guess in that particular situation, you're defending you. If he felt like his life was in danger, then yes, you need to match force with force that was the problem.

Speaker 1: 25:28

So apparently they asked him to get up out his seat. They wanted his seat. This is the story, right. Apparently they wanted his seat. He refused to give him the seat. Apparently these little boys were known to be bullies in the neighborhood or at their school or whatever, so they tried to force him out the seat and jump him physically yeah so because of that, he responded physically.

Speaker 1: 25:44

Apparently they were fighting. And then I don't know where the knife came from. I'm not sure if he had it or if he picked it up from somewhere or what have you, but that ended up, okay the thing is it's two on one exactly.

Speaker 2: 25:55

If there was, if those, if there were multiple offenders, then guess what? That knife was, that other person? Equalizer yeah so that's his, that's his defense, because it's multiple y'all. So that tragedy that happened, sorry, it happened, but those were the aggressors. You know what? I mean like he wasn't being aggressive. He was sitting there and and y'all were being known bullies quote unquote.

Speaker 1: 26:23

You know I'm saying so so y'all feel like, just because I want to keep it on brand right, y'all feel like, as far as manhood goes, he did the right thing yeah, okay, I just wanted that to be my son he was my son, I would be.

Speaker 1: 26:36

I wouldn't be upset at him at all you wouldn't be upset, at which I don't think his family is right, obviously I think the community is upset and all these other things. But it's an interesting stance to take, right, Because unfortunately that means that let's put in your son or nephew or whoever it is to you. You'd be like, oh yeah, Maybe he did just take a life at the same time. So what I want to deal with on it is how far does the manhood like? How far do those rules go? You know what I mean. How far does the manhood like how far do those rules go? You know what I mean when you say like you want to protect your manhood, or you say you want to be a man. This is what it takes to be a man. How far do those rules go? Because? Does it go as far as having to unfortunately take somebody's life? Is that okay, or is that more so only in extreme cases?

Speaker 2: 27:19

Because not everybody feels the same. Manhood so it's protecting your manhood has a lot to do with being a man. So you use your brain. You don't go and jump at a situation.

Speaker 2: 27:35

You need to actually be a man and assess the situation yeah, a logical thinker yeah, because if you, if you jump out the window, you probably gonna get cut, you probably gonna break a leg. You know I'm saying just, you know I'm saying just a little metaphor. But you, it's not the right thing to do. You gotta go out the door, you have to go turn the knob. You gotta go open the door, look out. You know you gotta assess the situation. You cannot go do something stupid because it could result in something tragic, right like what just happened. So say, for instance, what the story that I just told I protected my manhood by any means necessary because I was scared right now, in that situation with that little boy. He was scared so he protected himself by any means necessary.

Speaker 1: 28:24

You know what I'm saying and do you feel like you'd have gone that far though? So if you were in that situation, you had a knife, or you had something that was visible, but not something you had to get out your bag, or you know, I'm saying pull out. If you had something readily available, do you think you would have used it?

Speaker 2: 28:36

so I use weapons in extreme situations. So first I would have used my hands, okay, and then, if I would have ended up getting on the ground and see, that's probably where the situation would have been different, because I would have stabbed, been stabbing at people's legs you know I'm saying so I would have hurt somebody, but I probably wouldn't have killed nobody unless you hit an artery in the leg. But yeah, but that's on them yeah because, because at that point you stomping me you know I'm saying so I'm?

Speaker 2: 29:02

I'm getting stomped, but at the same time I'm swinging a knife. Y'all going to get cut in the leg Now. I'm not deliberately stabbing you in the chest Now.

Speaker 1: 29:13

it also depends on what type of knife you have, because they could have been rolling around. I don't know. That's what I'm saying. As far as the details, we'll have to dig into the case, but I don't know if they was rolling around. I don't know if you know, because we've seen too many movies. People fall on knives, people jump on top of them. Yeah, but he could have been standing in the defense.

Speaker 2: 29:29

Those are movies, reality that shit ain't going to happen, rolling around because a knife will probably be flat between you, or like roll through your wrist, stab you feel me Like usually if somebody falls, you know it's just like, but also think about somebody bigger than you, because I'm a pretty small guy.

Speaker 1: 29:48

You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 29:49

So I think about like in a situation like yeah, I can see if he's acting and they feel, or he's jumping on top of you he's coming at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 29:58

And that's why I'm my manhood. There's things that I'm willing to do to protect but, would you take them out?

Speaker 3: 30:04

like me, because I've experienced some stuff like this, but I've been jumped before, you know. I'm saying uh, and so you have to protect yourself by any means necessary, bro. To to make it back to who you belong, to your family um, now, from my experience with being in a situation like, like monte said, I'm gonna trust these hands, but I don't know what you got. I don't know what you're gonna be ready to do.

Speaker 1: 30:38

Let's say, you feel like I'm whooping your ass, you and him done it before, so whooping you and him, and now you feel like he'm whooping your ass, you and him.

Speaker 3: 30:45

Done it before, so whooping you and him.

Speaker 2: 30:49

And now you feel like straight up, like now I'm laughing because both of them got their work.

Speaker 3: 30:52

But now that you see both of y'all at a disadvantage even though it's both, you know what I'm saying. Two of y'all. Now you, finna, go get some extra help, and I don't know if you got a strap on you. I don't know if you got enough on you. You know what I'm saying, so I'm going to just have to react to the situation.

Speaker 3: 31:06

Now we all need to have as far as men and it's part of manhood a level of emotional intelligence, and that's where you know what I'm saying. Experience is going to have to come in. You're going to be taught so much, but I think you got to be through certain situations to know how to navigate them.

Speaker 1: 31:24

Yeah, you know what I'm saying. I agree with that.

Speaker 3: 31:26

So, but in this particular situation, like I said, to sum it all up, I have no, I feel there's no fault by this young man. It's unfortunate. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 31:37

But he had to protect himself. How old is he Young, kid he in? How old is he young, kid?

Speaker 3: 31:41

he in high school, okay, so yeah, high school. You know, nah, man, he shouldn't be doing no long period of time behind nowhere.

Speaker 1: 31:48

Well, I mean, he still got to go to trial and stuff, and you know people are trying to trying to see what's up. But for me I'm I'm curious, right, because you was just talking about situational awareness and we, to put it in a sports context, we'll say, like basketball, iq or right we'll. He can see what's going on before it actually happened. He know what moves is about to be made on the thing before actually having, and I feel like we forget that that's what we're supposed to do too, like all right. So for for the young cats in here, I'm gonna drop a couple jams on you. When you, when you are going to a restaurant, especially with a young lady, you always sit facing the door so you can see what's coming. If a threat come in, you know I'm saying something, pop off. You always need to be able to be aware. I think what the problem is, bro, we wait. The these new cats, I say they wait to the last minute, they wait till they in the situation and now it's panic mode proactive.

Speaker 1: 32:37

They don't prepare for nothing. So and I ain't saying that's, that's a little dude, I'm just saying in general, even like we don't think about that scenario you don't think about staying dangerous yeah, even for us we knew jumping was always a thing growing up that was just kind of what it was. You know if you walked on this street, you know if you wore these colors in the wrong neighborhood, you know if you did these things on this list you might get jumped. That was a conversation you had growing up.

Speaker 2: 33:00

Nowadays. I don't think that's the same conversation the key to that point there is people do not fight fair. That's it.

Speaker 3: 33:10

Especially nowadays, because there ain't no fighting.

Speaker 2: 33:13

Back in the day too. Like they did not fight fair, bro. Like you got to even think about, bro. Like even when people was like man one-on-one, one-on-one, We'd get out there and be whooping somebody's ass and then, guess what? They potting a fin to throw a punch, you feel me, and then it's a big-ass brawl. That's how big-ass brawls used to happen, and shit, Because somebody want to throw the punch and we was always a cat.

Speaker 1: 33:38

Scanning, walking behind cats Waiting for something to pop off, but but slimy, slimy slimy. But see what I'm saying different definitions of manhood, because some of us would never do that. Some of us would never be that cat that walk around and try to sneak somebody. We don't believe in, that we'd be like no, I'm gonna stand up like toe to toe, we finna go.

Speaker 2: 33:54

I want to remind a little bit because going to a restaurant, my wife likes to sit and watch the door she likes to she likes to watch the door. Okay, which is cool with me, because you feel like she can give you the alert. Yep, and I'm gonna react different he's just gonna go because he.

Speaker 3: 34:12

He's just gonna go because she, she already got the eyes, so he's gonna trust his. Well, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2: 34:17

his wife yep and I'm gonna you know.

Speaker 1: 34:19

So he's just gonna go see that's. I don't get me wrong, I rocked with that. But damn. Because, depending on where you sitting at in the restaurant, that's a dangerous situation.

Speaker 3: 34:29

But look, this is why I'm glad you brought it back up, monte, because that's one of two things I feel you need to do. You need to sit Me personally, I would agree with what Ant said Facing the door for security reasons. Y'all know how I am too. But number two is you immediately need to be thinking and looking at the exits.

Speaker 1: 34:52

Yeah, absolutely, you know what I'm saying. So if something does happen, you already have established an exit route for you and your family and discuss it Like something that anytime I go to a new place with my wife, I always let her know something crack off. We going over there, something crack off we doing this. If something crack off, this is what I need you to do Like, and it's real quick. It ain't like a whole discussion where we leave you roll on the ground and go to the nah, just that, because you said something earlier.

Speaker 3: 35:29

You was talking about like iq you know, I'm saying situational, that iq, though that can be god-given right. Yeah, you're talking about basketball, you brought those sports, yeah, but I feel like that's something that you also can develop. You know, I'm saying through other ways, through reading, gaining that knowledge and then, like I said, coming through, going through different experiences to build up the iq. So which, which way, you know I'm saying, or which method of building your iq do you think will be best for a person going through it or observing, or reading on it?

Speaker 1: 35:57

going through it, going through it, gonna always be reading up on it. Let me tell you why anybody go. Go take somebody who went to school for 12 years. Right, they got all these degrees, they have knowledge, right, but they don't have any experience. Now you go to that.

Speaker 1: 36:11

Go to the person who didn't necessarily get no degrees. They've just been working at the job for forever. They know the ins and outs. They've been through different scenarios where it looked like it was supposed to look and when it wasn't supposed to look that way. You know I'm saying it was all out of whack. So they've had different experiences that taught them what to do, not to mention muscle memory. You know I'm saying they know they're gonna know how to react off bat. You tell me if, if you, if it was a cat so a lot of people that I know from as military, right, let's say it's a drill sergeant and then you got somebody who, who, specialize in combat. They don't be like, yeah, he's loud, but he ain't going to do nothing Like. You know what I'm saying. It's a different approach to the situation.

Speaker 3: 36:49

Yeah, I feel you. Nah, that's good. I was wanting to see where your head's at. What about?

Speaker 2: 36:53

you Monte.

Speaker 3: 36:55

You act like you was thinking about. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 36:56

A different way, nah because I feel the same way. I I feel the same way. I was just thinking about a situation. So because I've lived through the situations where I've had to feel like I don't trust anybody. That was the reason why I do go to a restaurant. I'm comfortable with my wife sitting there and looking, because I'm already. I already have my head on a swivel at all times. If y'all don't really pay attention to it, when we go out somewhere and we together, y'all might be uh, laughing and having fun and y'all might be like bro, look at blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and y'all might be like what is this dude thinking about? I'm paying attention to everything like I'm just looking around.

Speaker 2: 37:51

Y'all might think I might have an attitude I'm drunk, but no, I'm just peeping. You know what I'm saying? Like I always do that, like it's always something when I, when something happened, it'd be that one person that I looked at. That's always yeah, I'm like yeah.

Speaker 3: 38:05

I knew it was them, bro, like yeah. Something right here. There's something we hit that everybody I ain't gonna say everybody, but you y'all know this when I say it when you go into a club, a establishment, especially like a club or a lounge or something like that, within like the first 10 minutes, what dudes be doing when they first come in here?

Speaker 1: 38:29

When they come in the club.

Speaker 3: 38:30

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 38:32

Probably wall posts. If they ain't getting a drink, cats gonna post up on the wall.

Speaker 3: 38:36

What you think. I'm gonna tell you when I'm going with it.

Speaker 2: 38:38

You said when you first Walked in the club.

Speaker 3: 38:40

Yeah, Growing up, when you first walked in the club, think about like Saints or something like that.

Speaker 2: 38:45

I walked around when I first got in. Oh, mama.

Speaker 3: 38:47

That's what I'm talking about, because what you was doing, I was seeing who was in there Exactly. Bro, I, Exactly Because you got to know. You know what I'm saying. You can't be caught off guard.

Speaker 1: 38:58

Go ahead, bro. Hold on, I'm going to let both of y'all go. Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 2: 39:01

All right, shout out to my people Vincent, man, marley, go to Inca Hoots. And Inca Hoots was this club when I was in high school, but I was, I wasn't. I wasn't old enough to go in, and on Sundays, so I had one of my partner's brother's ID, so I was going in with my big cousins and every time we went in we had this particular spot that we always used to go to. But when Vince used to walk through the club, he, he used to walk around, and Vince was short like me and he used to knock niggas out. You know what I'm saying. So when he walked me, he didn't do any sneak attacks, no, no.

Speaker 3: 39:38

He didn't knock you out of your face, I'm just saying. But the way you see it, oh yeah, he reaching up.

Speaker 2: 39:45

To be frank, he hit somebody before and snatched their chain at the same time. It was hilarious. But but look, so he walked around the club with his hands behind his back all the time and I peeped it and I was like that's kind of leverage, because if he gotta use his weight to knock somebody out, he coming straight from with his hands behind his back. So I'm like that's dope, and it was an easy way to maneuver through the crowd too. You know what I'm saying. So I was like all right, cool, and he did exactly that. He walked around the crowd.

Speaker 2: 40:18

But to that point I was young peeping game. You know what I'm saying. So when I was with my partners, I go walk around the club, you know what I'm saying. See who in here? You? I'm saying like all right, and usually it's it's some ops in there and we deep, so I ain't, we ain't really tripping, but that that's how you peep game, because you don't want to be standing nowhere and then out of the blue so let's crack off, and you don't know where it's coming from you know.

Speaker 3: 40:46

So what, what you was getting ready to say bro?

Speaker 1: 40:49

no, I I don't even remember, but I was curious about.

Speaker 3: 40:52

I was talking about like you know what I'm saying us walking around as soon as you come into a building and I get so I guess I'm a pivot right.

Speaker 1: 40:58

I was going to say something specific, but now my question for y'all is what does that look like today? So that's what it looked like walking around a club. What does that look like in today's society? So if you go to a restaurant even if you go, let's say you take your wife dancing, whatever the case is if you in scenarios out here in real everyday life, what's your version of walking around the venue or the party? Before you know what I'm saying, you get comfortable. What's that look like in real life for?

Speaker 3: 41:24

y'all, like I said, just identifying as your roots or, okay, ways to uh get out of a situation that something goes south. So like it could be something simple, like identifying what these doors are. When I go to the restaurant, one of the first things I'm asking the waiter, if I can't see it, where's the restaurant? You know the restroom is. That's why I can identify what it is, so we're not wasting the time trying to figure out what things are. You know what I'm saying, but I guess it just being, like you said, being your, uh, your head on the swivel yeah, it's a turn to me. You know I'm saying me and rio and uh, tita, and all of us kind of say we say faces up, yeah, you know saying that's why I be standing on the pride faces up, stand your pivot yeah and that just mean faces up, mean stand alert.

Speaker 3: 42:09

Yeah, being you know saying uh uh alert about your surroundings, being on your pivot is being like being like an owl. Yeah, think about how owls move their heads, you know they've been alert on their 6th or 12th, you know.

Speaker 1: 42:20

So they're 9 o'clock to 3 o'clock, so this this situation go ahead, bro, because I want to know how y'all ride that line right, because from what this is what I hear. What I hear is a lot of reactions to some. That's like survival mode. You went like, just think about the scenarios that y'all painted, you got ops over here in case you gotta knock a nigga out, like all of that to me sounds like a response to a threat. Everything is a in a response to a situation that's already kind of happening. I guess I'm trying to figure out how do you gauge survivability and then awareness, right, because I'll bring up some specifics. I remember last year my wife uh, one of her good friends came down to celebrate her birthday, right, and we ended up going out. Now, I got kind of two personalities. Yeah, I'm a little, yeah, anyway, right, I got kind of two personalities. Yeah, I'm a little, yeah, anyway, right, I got kind of two personalities.

Speaker 3: 43:13

So when I'm by myself, I'm a lot more Coast is too much.

Speaker 1: 43:16

The bipolar is strong, but, like when I'm by myself, different mentality. Right Now I'm still alert, I'm still paying attention to things, but I'm a lot more comfortable, I'm a lot more free to move around when my wife is present. That's when I kind of go into the mode that y'all talking about. Right, I'm more, I'm scanning everything, I'm kind of peeping out. Now, ironically, right unique had told me he's like bro, enjoy yourself, you shouldn't have to sit back. You know, do all of that. Why you? Why you feel like you need to like, scope out everything, mug the room, which I make sense to me. So my question is how do you ride the difference? Because there's a way to be alert, right, and pay attention to your surroundings, make sure you know what's going on, but at the same time, why go out if you're not enjoying yourself? So you see what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 44:03

So, like, so, you, I can enjoy myself in survival mode. I'm always in survival mode because, okay, anything can happen at any time. Okay, and when I'm with my family, that's even worse. But I don't have to, okay, say I'm going to a restaurant, I walk in, I'm not in survival mode and I'm really not. I can't really call it a survival mode.

Speaker 2: 44:34

That is, that is awareness, because when you walking around and you looking at things, even if he's looking at the exit routes, it's like all right, just in case. You know what I'm saying, that's a just in case thing. But you're also able to sit down and enjoy yourself without something happening. Also able to sit down and enjoy yourself without something happening. It's always being aware, like having your head on a swivel while you eating, just, you know, enjoying conversation. But you know, look around every now and then you know I'm saying just making sure you know that that all right, because because I'm the one who looks around and I'm like, oh, okay, table three left. Nah, cool, you know, I'm saying they just got another table three.

Speaker 3: 45:09

I think that is being proactive, that's not being reactive to something that you've been through like a trauma or something, because it's you're, you're actively, uh trying to look for, like you said, ways to navigate a situation but I think that that does speak to trauma.

Speaker 1: 45:26

So like, all right, so let me, let me dig a little bit deeper. When might I tell you specifically described, uh like if we go out, you'd be like, dang, this nigga might not. He might look like he's upset. We might be telling him a joke or something. He don't necessarily laugh da-da-da-da, because he's peeping the scene right. I want us to pay attention because that to me does not sound like you enjoying it. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3: 45:55

That sounds like you're in survival mode, so it sounds like there is a switch. They don't exist together, you got to go from one to the other that goes into what I said about iq, the other ways to build it. Okay, that's the way he built it.

Speaker 2: 46:00

My way is I was trained in a way so I developed the knowledge for me, so that's why I'm saying that's still a way like you said, that could be a trauma, but the other because, like he was saying, like he was trained to do it, so he naturally does it. That's the same thing with me.

Speaker 1: 46:14

So you feel like you've gotten to a point where you did it for so long. Now you naturally do it.

Speaker 2: 46:18

Yeah, I've just developed it as a skill at this point. You know what I'm saying. So it's not I'm always going to be chilling, like I'm going to always enjoy myself, but i'ma always keep a eye, keep my eyes open. You know what I'm saying, for for anything it's not. You know I it's anything, but anything can happen. But like the the um say, for instance, you had a at a basketball game and you, you, y'all, we enjoying ourselves, bro, like we gotta peep the game. You know I'm saying we, you never know what's going on behind you. Somebody might be fighting behind you, might fall down, something might fall from the sky. You know I'm saying we, you never know what's going on behind you. Somebody might be fighting behind you, might fall down, something might fall from the sky. You know I'm saying, uh, the ceiling or something like that. You know, you never know what's gonna happen.

Speaker 1: 46:58

You feel like you have to be looking for that, or do you feel like you're at a point where you can't like that? If something happens, you, like you said, you've already been trained enough to be able to respond to, because look those all right.

Speaker 2: 47:08

So paying attention you have have to. I mean all senses, bro. All your senses, your eyes, your ears, your nose, bro. Like everything, bro, you got to be able to smell something. If something's burning or if something's snap that sounds unusual, then you get to looking around like what's that? You know what I'm saying? That's what I mean, just being aware. It ain't like you sitting there like I know something about to happen, this shit about to happen today right, right you know I'm saying no, don't, yeah, don't, but like I said, you have to be.

Speaker 1: 47:42

It had to be a skill at this point, but see I'm and the reason I'm, and not to cut you off, but the reason I'm asking, right, isn't for anton, but we got to understand. There's people, the people out here who are, who are listening to us, right, they may not have had the same opportunities to be trained right, so they didn't grow up in the environments where they had to kick a nigga while he was trying to do some crazy shit in the car. They didn't, they didn't go the military route, so they weren't trained. You know what I'm saying on how to be aware of your surroundings and how to identify certain things. So with the regular Joe, you know, I mean the cat who maybe, maybe he grew up in the what we would call the county or the suburbs right, and he didn't have those same go seek the information.

Speaker 3: 48:18

That's what I'm saying like. Go actively seek out the information and what way do I? Stand staying dangerous. There's so many ways to do it.

Speaker 3: 48:25

You got the internet go like I said we said before go seek out a martial art, go get, go get actual training and go to a range and pay for some lessons, bro, yeah, yeah, you know what I'm saying. Like I said, you can get a martial art, several different types of martial arts that you can learn to sharpen your mind, and you can get your books. If you you know what I'm saying, go read something about a different level of self-defense. You know what I'm saying there's other ways to stay dangerous, bro, like I agree with you and and it's mentally too, like it's dudes out here that don't even know how to physically defend themselves.

Speaker 3: 48:58

They just a danger because they minds yeah you know I'm saying so that's, and I think that's what the circle of. Back to manhood, um, I think just being able to. My definition of manhood is going through life unafraid and being able to navigate and being confident with yourself, being able to navigate situations. You know what I'm saying and so that's what I think manhood is about is being confident in yourself and staying humble and being able to navigate situations.

Speaker 1: 49:33

I like that. All right, Monte, you got a definition of manhood. What you feel like yours is.

Speaker 2: 49:38

Well, one, I'm going to answer the question before. Just for the everyday Joe, self-awareness is in you, I. I do believe that you should go and get some type of self-defense training if you don't have it. However, self-awareness is in you looking, hearing, feeling like you need to pay attention, basically like I. I get certain people what if I'm deaf?

Speaker 3: 50:13

huh what if I'm deaf?

Speaker 1: 50:15

I almost laughed, bro. I'm almost bust out laughing, and then ain't nothing funny about that.

Speaker 2: 50:19

But hey, I'm cool, I'm blind, I'm daredevil well, if you're deaf, then you're probably not listening to this podcast, so I'm not necessarily talking.

Speaker 1: 50:31

They got braille bro bro said, print out the podcast sick of this dude.

Speaker 2: 50:42

I'm not necessarily talking to you, I mean, but of course. But of course you can. You know what's going on and you can trust your gut, you know. That's all I can say for that. But for the regular Joe, you know, just, you know, pay attention. I know it's tons of people that go on dates and they'd be so into their date, but I think it'll probably be a little more attractive if you're also paying attention. You know what I'm saying to your surroundings and she's like well, what's going on? Well, I'm just making sure, I'm just checking out everything. You know what I'm saying, like not paranoid, but you know, I'm just just looking, you know just that's the thing.

Speaker 3: 51:24

I guess some people look at this like we paranoid.

Speaker 1: 51:27

Yeah, some people they say when that's why I was addressing that perspective, because it looks like from the outside, people who didn't grow up like.

Speaker 3: 51:33

But there's some women, because you know saying some women like a man who's militant yeah, some people, some women do, yeah, you're right so, but some people, like you said you, can perceive it as a level of paranoia and but, like some people do deal with that trauma, they're overly alert, like you like why are you? Always doing this, bro, like you, every time you reach in your pocket, do you know?

Speaker 3: 51:54

what I'm saying somebody walk in the room because, yeah, well, you have a trauma for that I don't think that's awareness, that's trauma, that's true, it's in how you respond.

Speaker 1: 52:02

It's absolutely in how you respond, because I think that that's where I was trying to get it, because I feel like a lot of people when we talk about the regular joe, they don't have the same alarms as the rest of us. So, uh, just to give y'all an example, if I heard like a loud thud on the front door or the back door, my heart beating immediately because I didn't, I didn't bend in the space where my door was kicked in, right, so I'm like that to me means something. So when I heard that type of I'm automatically on go mode. Yeah, the regular joe may be like oh, what is that? The wind, what's going on? Right, did something fall? Right?

Speaker 1: 52:31

His, his alarms ain't the same. They don't. They don't think the same way. So that's why I was challenging y'all mindset, because I'm like, I heard you, but it's gonna be hard for them to get there. It's gonna be hard for them to get in a situation where, if he was riding the car, he did get in the uber and somebody tried some craziness. Not everybody gonna have the wordwithal to oh, I'm going to kick the you know, what I mean.

Speaker 1: 52:50

Right, right, right. People going to be trying to get out the door, they're going to be trying to call people. They're going to react differently because they didn't grow up in a war zone. I feel like we grew up in a war zone. Whether you was somebody who went to war or not, you grew up in a war zone which little different, Like everybody, ain't the same. So I guess and to go into it, because I'm going to go back and I'm going to ask you again, Montae, as far as what you feel like your definition of manhood- is oh, I'm still thinking about it, which is good.

Speaker 1: 53:22

I'm going to go ahead and say mine right. So for me, I understand that growing up I thought manhood had one definition. I thought everybody had to like, walk this line, like, right Manhood was you take out the trash, you walk on the outside of the sidewalk, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 3: 53:38

Little stuff like that, chivalry, those are duties, those are.

Speaker 1: 53:40

Those are actually absolutely responsibilities that go with being a man, but that isn't. Those aren't like rules of being a man, right.

Speaker 2: 53:52

For me, being a man is not what I've learned. It's not a monolith right, it's not one definition for all of us.

Speaker 1: 53:55

Essentially it's it's how you define it, and then what I truly believe for me is standing in whatever you define. So if I say that I'm this person, or if I say that these are the things that I'm good at, or this is what I would do if you stepped in this box, being a man is being able to do those things that you said you was finna do. So if somebody run up in your house, you'd be like, yeah, run up in my house, I'm gonna shoot that. But he run up in your house and then use like, oh my god, anything you want, right, like it's a. That's not being a man, regardless of how it come out. It's just like. In my opinion, you gotta. Being a man is setting a tone and then operating that tone, regardless of how tough or militant, it is right. Setting the tone and then operating standing on your SOP standing on your 10 bro, that's exactly your standard operating procedure.

Speaker 1: 54:38

Yes, sir, uh, your SOP now look we dropping gems.

Speaker 2: 54:41

For those of y'all who didn't know, that acronym get you a corporate job. Go ahead now you literally said what I was saying, what I was thinking. You know what I mean. Like you standing on your business, I always think of, uh, that, when you think of, um, yeah, standing on business, but when you think of, when you think of manhood right, and you think of maybe your father or you know that one person, you were like dang man, like like that's a man right there, but like he, he wanted him one.

Speaker 1: 55:11

You know what I'm?

Speaker 2: 55:11

saying you think about who they were. They stood on business. If they said something that they were gonna do something, they did it. You know what I'm saying. So that's, that's, that's how I've always, that's how I am. You know what I'm saying. If I say I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it, you know. I mean like I ain't, I ain't, finna, I'm not getting ready to tell you, oh, I'm gonna, I'll be there at at 3 30 and show up at 3 30 the next day, like you know. I'm saying like I just I'm, I'm punctual about certain things, you know. I'm saying I'm, I'm the, now, I ain't gonna lie. If you're my homeboy and I say three o'clock, I might come at like 3 15, but you ain't right.

Speaker 1: 55:51

You ain't perfect, and I don't think that's the right thing.

Speaker 2: 55:53

You ain't trying to be perfect but I stand on what I say like I'm gonna be there.

Speaker 1: 55:56

You know what I'm saying like. It ain't like, I ain't gonna show up and we, and we more so, talking about in defense of right, when somebody tests you or if you in, if you have a family, you have a home, you should have things like a um, like a plan, right. So well, that's, and that's really what we're talking about. So we feel safe?

Speaker 1: 56:14

yeah, like all right. So anytime y'all ever been to an apartment complex or a job, right, what's one of the? I ain't gonna ask that question. One of the first things y'all see when y'all walk in is a fire exit plan. You look on walls and stuff. You see fire extinguishers and you see a fire exit plan. So something crack off. If anything crack off, you should know where the stir is at. You should know which way to go.

Speaker 3: 56:35

Right, yeah, absolutely and so that's, I think, anybody like. Well, they go in that hotel room. They ain't looking at that, but see they're looking at that bed.

Speaker 1: 56:42

But that means aware, that's awareness though, because I look at it every time right, like at this age, because and then that's probably because of work, because I've gone through a lot of fire safety trainings. But at the same time, bro, if I go somewhere foreign, I know where the X is at. If I'm going anywhere for the very first time, if I'm in a hotel room, I'm in a business office, I'm in an airport, I know exactly how to get out that mood, for the most part Because I be getting lost sometimes.

Speaker 2: 57:06

But, like, you know what I'm saying, Like, for the most part, I'm gonna throw y'all a little curveball real quick, you know, um, I think about the ones, the, the people who, whose manhood is just a little off. Right. So you think about the men because, like you think about us, right? Yeah, you know for a fact, if anything was to pass through my household and my and not there, guess who my wife is going to call? She's going to call me to make sure that it's all right with me, all of that. Right, you know. Now you think about the men who. It doesn't happen. Hey, they, they, they get ran over at the crib, but there's also probably the man who's not taking care of his crib. So that's also a part of manhood Leadership Leadership You're taking care of your responsibilities. When you have a household you know what I'm saying Make sure you're doing everything in your power to take care of your family.

Speaker 3: 58:07

If you ain't doing that, what you mean by that, bro, because I want you to kind of probably go in depth, because are you talking about, like I said earlier, a responsibility like duties?

Speaker 2: 58:19

And what capacity do you need to be taking care of? No, so not All right. So check this out Like not the duties. Yeah, it's making sure that there's a roof over your head to do the duties. You know what I'm saying? That's manhood Making sure that you got some money coming in that house to make sure that it's stable. The trash it can build up for months, but you got to be able to be there and live to have that trash in there. So my thing is being a man is making sure you go and do anything. I mean, go get some. Go get some stable income by any means necessary, and you gotta be stable. Just make sure you're bringing something home.

Speaker 2: 58:56

So you can take care of the crib. You know what I'm saying. So that's a part of manhood. Any means necessary, I'm gonna take care of my family. You know what I'm saying? That's, that's and that's so. I feel like I've been a man for a long time, because that's how I've always been, because, like I told you before, I was the man of the house. So, by any means necessary, I'm taking care of this crib.

Speaker 1: 59:17

You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 59:19

Ain't nobody going to do nothing or none of that, but that's a definition of a man to me Somebody that's taking care of their crib, because a lot of these dudes be sitting there playing the game and ain't really taking care of the crib. Guess what? I can play the game all day because I'm taking care of the crib.

Speaker 1: 59:37

My wife don't really trip off of it because you providing in other ways, you know, but I think that's the problem. So, like cats need to know I keep saying cats, but I said it, bro on one of them clips I said cats like 38 times. But uh, these cats, these cats, these guys, these fellas, these people, partners, whatever you want to call them. Look these listeners. How about?

Speaker 2: 59:57

that? Yes, we'll call them that.

Speaker 1: 59:59

When I trip off of it. Right, because you know everybody got social media to some degree and I'll see like a woman painting a room or putting up some stuff or building something right.

Speaker 1: 1:00:12

And they'll catch me in the comments talking about where your man at. I'm trying not to cuss. Look, you're going to get one thing or the other. Meow, look at that. But anyway, I definitely agree with your definition of manhood when you say it's about taking care of your spot. That's what I was saying. So essentially, there's a lot of women who do what we would call manly things, so building some shit, taking the trash out. There's plenty of women I know who, when they say they cleaning the house, that includes taking the trash out.

Speaker 2: 1:00:44

You know what.

Speaker 3: 1:00:44

I'm saying that includes all of those things You're saying. That's a masculine duty.

Speaker 1: 1:00:48

I'm saying that's what society tells us. I'm saying that's a bias that we normally have.

Speaker 3: 1:00:52

Do you think that's a masculine duty?

Speaker 1: 1:00:54

Me personally yes, no Take it out of the trash. Yeah, no.

Speaker 3: 1:01:00

I think that there are just some women who don't like to do it Do you think that's a duty for a man? No, I do If it's a man in the household.

Speaker 1: 1:01:06

I think he should, but I can't attribute that to Mick. I think it's about the setup of the house.

Speaker 3: 1:01:11

I'm not going to look at you if she don't take out the trash. Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to judge you, but it shouldn't be her responsibility. Do I feel a man should take out the trash? Yes, I do.

Speaker 1: 1:01:20

Again, I'm not mad at that, because every woman I've ever been with I'm going to take the trash out. I know from experience straight up, I mean, I had a whole raccoon pop out.

Speaker 3: 1:01:30

Look like wolverine. It chased me my backyard dog, so you don't know what's gonna pop out that trash can like run around the backyard but nah, that's uh, and I think that that's cool.

Speaker 1: 1:01:44

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But I think that gender roles don't exist, bro. They're not real. I think that's that's my problem, right? Because, as as a young, as a young dude who knows how to clean a house, like I'm pretty proficient in knowing how to clean some stuff I wouldn't attribute that to being, like, a feminine thing I feel like most men should at least know how, even if you're not the primary person cleaning your house or cleaning your space. That's another thing. Like preparation is key.

Speaker 1: 1:02:10

So when we talk about being a man, one of my favorite quotes is from TI, and I don't want to butcher it, right, but he said preparation plus opportunity is success, right, and so, as a man we talk about oh, I could just go do this, right, we always know where the opportunities are, but we rarely prepare for them, right? We always last minute as hell to go read something or go prepare for the situation. I think if we got better at that, that would actually help. What we call like a lot of manhood fails nowadays cats used to shadow box growing up, we stay again. We play games called trading licks bloody knuckles. So as far as combat, we used to that.

Speaker 2: 1:02:50

Yeah, like we used to that?

Speaker 1: 1:02:51

Yeah, like we used to that. Nowadays are people even in physical contact. They don't even play football outside, don't touch me.

Speaker 1: 1:02:59

Yeah, like everybody on the video game, everybody playing Madden instead of being outside throwing the football. It's a different time, man. But that's why I was challenging y'all on y'all definitions of manhood, Because for them, yeah, for us, we was like yeah, go outside, run around with the homies, go see what's up on the people outside. Ain't nobody outside, no more. Your kid could ride up and down the block with their bike and probably not see nobody for a mile. You know what I mean. In the middle of the day, you know what I mean. So it's like where everything is going on. So I think when we talk about manhood, the definition has to change, unfortunately for these new kids. But I do think the foundational principles that we had growing up just need to be communicated more. We always had an OG in our face. It was always something. Let me talk to y'all real quick.

Speaker 1: 1:03:43

Let me tell you what's going on. It was always somebody trying to spit some games at you.

Speaker 2: 1:03:47

They don't listen.

Speaker 1: 1:03:48

I think that's the problem. Our job is not for them to get them to listen. Our job is to plant the seed. All you got to do is go say something and then move on. Bro, I think that.

Speaker 3: 1:04:00

But they ain't watering the flower, bro. I was just going to say they got to water their own seed.

Speaker 1: 1:04:03

That's the problem. You can come back and you can water it occasionally, but I think what we do is we operate. We operate on extremes, right? Another thing about manhood manhood. Manhood exists in all forms. It don't exist just when you good. It don't exist just when you strong. It don't exist.

Speaker 1: 1:04:18

You know what I'm saying? It's not these specific things. If, if you're gonna be a man, you're gonna be a man when it's hard, when you homeless, when you ain't got no bread. You're gonna be a man when you got everything right, when you up, when you ain't gotta treat but you still do. That's being a man Right, like you, holding on to your principles regardless of the situation that you in. Right? You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1: 1:04:37

So I think, when it comes to giving these gems to our listeners Right, because a lot of the cats that I'm familiar with that's listening to this podcast, they're the same age as us or they're a little younger than us. So when I'm talking about giving them advice, it's got to sound like something that they can actually utilize Right and move forward with. I think we get an issue with validation as a man and the things. I don't think I've ever gone through a manhood story where validation was necessary. But I think that's how we move they don't listen, they don't do what I tell them to do. I think we get caught up as men today. I think we get caught up in that as men today. I think we get caught up in that.

Speaker 3: 1:05:11

What's your key gem then?

Speaker 1: 1:05:13

I think my key gem is to keep sowing the seed, bro. Regardless of if you feel like the young cat listening, regardless of if you feel like your kids listening, regardless of if you feel like your boss listening, plant the seed, bro. Your job was not to come here to get results from everybody else. Your job was to come here to impact people, to inspire people, and that's on them to pick up. I don't know about y'all, but to this day I heard a martin luther king quote and a quote I ain't never heard before and I was like dang, like that's legit, inspirational. That's what I'm talking about. That's manhood dude been dead 50 years. You know what I'm saying. But he can leave an impact behind based on his thoughts, based on how he stood on his business, and it resonates to today.

Speaker 3: 1:05:55

What about you, Monte? What's the key gem you feel like you can give to the people?

Speaker 2: 1:05:59

Man stand on your 10, man Like as a man, as a woman, like as an alien, whoever the hell you are stand on your 10.

Speaker 3: 1:06:13

Why did I think of the alien?

Speaker 2: 1:06:15

on family guy, some aliens instead of your business man, like do. Like, when you say you're gonna do something, do it. Like that's. That is like one of the things, that's one of my pet peeves. You know I'm saying if somebody say they're gonna do something and they don't do it, I I kind of look, I get a little upset. You know I'm saying if they don't do it, so that's, that's what I say to anyone stand on your business and continue to move forward in success. You know I mean like far for me.

Speaker 3: 1:06:48

um, stay dangerous, like I said, and sharpen your tools, and that's mentally, physically and emotionally. Be equipped yourself and stay dangerous. Faces up, stay on your pivot.

Speaker 1: 1:07:04

Rocks with that hey that's crazy, bro.

Speaker 2: 1:07:06

We've been staying dangerous before. Stay dangerous was a thing.

Speaker 1: 1:07:10

That's why I said y'all in survival mode. But all right, y'all, thanks for rocking with us. This has been another episode of the Trenches to Trophies podcast. If anything resonated with y'all, if y'all heard anything that was a part of this episode that you was like, oh yeah, yeah, I agree with that, or you disagree with it, let us know. Man, share the episode with your people, let them hear it, get their opinions and then tag us, man, post it on Facebook, post it on Instagram. Let us know what's going on with y'all. Tap in with us. We want to know who's listening, right, right, we want to know who y'all are.

Speaker 2: 1:07:45

We want y'all to know who we are so we can grow this thing. We want to know the good, the bad, you know. I mean like, tell us give us some feedback, feedback, feedback. We see you listening right, like we can't see the ip address is visible no, let me know, we know what you're asking.

Speaker 1: 1:08:05

I don't want to scare nobody, but but we do love y'all right. So again, if y'all want to post something, use that hashtag T2T right. T the number two and then T If y'all hashtag that we'll be able to see everything All right. Appreciate y'all for listening. This has been another episode. Love y'all One. Peace you.