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Trenches 2 Trophies Podcast
Trenches 2 Trophies is a relatable, insightful podcast that blends humor and real-life lessons, aimed at helping urban youth find their path from struggle to success. Hosted by 3 young black men from St. Louis are who have now relocated to Houston, we dive into personal growth, leadership, and navigating life’s toughest challenges.
Trenches 2 Trophies Podcast
The Myth of Conditional Love: Challenging Chris Rock's Theory
The guys challenge Chris Rock's controversial statement that "only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally" while men must provide something to be loved, sharing personal stories of unconditional support from friends and family during their darkest times.
• Examining whether men receive love based solely on what they provide
• Contrasting "red pill" mentality with healthy perspectives on masculinity and relationships
• Distinguishing between respect and love – masculine men may receive more respect but less affection
• Sharing personal experiences of brotherhood and unconditional love during life's darkest moments
• Exploring how to raise children with confidence while teaching appropriate boundaries and awareness
• Breaking down the importance of vulnerability and having people who answer when you call
• Recognizing that family isn't always blood, and not all blood relatives deserve unconditional love
Find you a brother if you don't have one. Talk to a therapist. Get your stuff together. It's okay to open up to your partners – if you don't feel like you can open up to women, open up to your brothers.
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what's good. Welcome back to another episode of changes to trophies podcast. I'm your host, ant, and I'm here with my boys, monte Corleone and Unique Artistry. Alright, here we talking about a little something this nigga finna start a fire.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man like hey, hey, nigga he rubbed his hands getting like a bird man.
Speaker 2:Chill on my hands he said whoosh, look, that's exactly what we talking about today. We about to talk about love and Exactly what we talking about today. We about to talk about love. Dry hands, niggas, look.
Speaker 3:Nah, what's up, what's up? Nah, but for real.
Speaker 2:So, to bring it in, it's based off a quote, right? So y'all might have seen the video. But Chris Rock has said only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved under the condition that he provides something. What you said, y'all do. Y'all agree with that? Hell no, you sure?
Speaker 1:so you feel like, okay, okay, I'm just asking to a certain extent, but go ahead my day like who. Who are we referring to, though?
Speaker 2:I'm just saying. The quote says only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally. A man is only loved under the condition that he provides something.
Speaker 1:I don't provide for my mom. My mom loves me. I don't provide for a lot of folks and they love me unconditionally, so I disagree with that. Do you feel like that's the case for all?
Speaker 2:men? No. Do you feel like that's the case for most men? Most, yes.
Speaker 1:Okay, because, okay, I was just asking. I was just trying to see how deep your reasoning was, speaking about a kid that grew up in the foster home or something like that. Yeah, I can agree, you know what I'm saying, possibly that there ain't no love, but that you know what I'm saying. I'm pretty sure that that person went and found some type of love.
Speaker 3:Foster parents also probably getting a check.
Speaker 1:huh yeah, they get a check for that yeah of course Do foster parents not adoptive parents I think both.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they get paid from the state, bro. That's why people yeah, you see them it's like, it's like now.
Speaker 3:I don't even know if I like that yeah, yeah it's.
Speaker 1:It's crazy because it's like you want the kid but at the same time, you are getting a benefit. Did y'all?
Speaker 2:hear about that case that happened recently, that, uh, that white couple that got sentenced to like 300 some years yes, they had adopted like four or five kids and had them living in like a shed with no bed, no, no bathroom it was like tarp on the ground, bro, it was ridiculous living. Because they was, they was used, they was relieving themselves in a bucket, bro, like it was ridiculous beating them they called they referred to them as slaves. They adopted them to make them slave that's crazy, bro.
Speaker 3:Crazy for that.
Speaker 2:They need to be in an electric chair, but it's like 300-something years they ain't getting out, so they gonna die in that gym. Yeah, it's crazy bro.
Speaker 3:To spin back to what you you know, the question you asked. I feel that can also be played the other way. Like dudes nowadays they playing For you know what I'm saying, for a specific reason.
Speaker 2:For their benefits. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Like especially these bums.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, the women are making a lot more money now. They more educated, you know what I'm saying, they the most educated in class, these dudes out here just sitting at the crib playing the game and soaking up the food stamps.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm, you know playing, stepdaddy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying, like you ain't you not well.
Speaker 1:Well, to his point, they not providing the service, though.
Speaker 3:Who Providing, they providing the house, they doing that, all this stuff a man would do Safety, security. You know the type of deal we roll back in. Yeah, if you paying bills.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying Like, but that's my, that's my thing, so okay. So let me. You lost your job, you lost all status, you couldn't provide Any more bills, like your account was at zero. You couldn't get gas To get home. Do you feel like the women in your life Would continue to love you, or do you feel like that's a condition that would cause them to Like fall away from you?
Speaker 3:And Absolutely they would still love me.
Speaker 1:But Because they also know.
Speaker 3:I ain't, finna, just follow my face and not get up. Try to get up. Exactly, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, they gonna, they gonna pull me up by the kind of man.
Speaker 1:You are Regardless if you lose everything.
Speaker 2:They gonna love you through that, because of who you are, not because of what you have.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna get an earful first. Okay, you know what I'm saying. They're gonna pull me up.
Speaker 2:Okay, does myself off you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3:shout out to the black women and keep pushing but everybody can't say that, yeah, yeah, right, and I and I understand that, but that's what we're trying to change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you know no, but I, I like the perspective right because I wanted to get y'all buying one. I wanted to understand what y'all perspectives were.
Speaker 2:So before we dive in and I'm like wait, we surprised by what one of y'all say, we like hold on you know I'm saying that we detour, now that we all on the same page, right, because I agree, I don't think that it's based off of what you have. I think that the women in my life, the ones that I hold near and dear to me, they love me because of who I am. You know what I mean. So, regardless of if I had to reset and lose everything, they would love me through that period of my life, right, all right, so moving on.
Speaker 3:Now hold on, Wait for the move on real quick, bro, Because look, I ain't gonna lie to you when I first initially heard the question. I'm going to say yes.
Speaker 2:But I feel like you feel me Right, like, keep it a book. I'm going to say, yes, bro, but I don society, because if you argue right men, do it to other men and you won't. We said before on the podcast we don't have bum friends, right, we don't have people that don't have nothing around us, because that's a certain mentality that comes along with that a lot of the time. So if somebody says like, hey, I don't deal with men who don't have anything because of the mentality that they have and the way they agree with us you know what I saying. They just may not approach it the right way.
Speaker 3:But I don't know if it's love, but I thought, or is it? You know what I'm saying? Preference, that's different, but that's based on the person.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying, nah.
Speaker 1:Cause. Look, even though I don't have those type, I don't have those type of people around me, I still love them unconditionally.
Speaker 2:You feel like you still can love them from afar, without being in contact with them.
Speaker 1:I still do.
Speaker 2:Like, but I can still contact them bro. Do you feel like other people would feel the same, though? Do you feel like again like do you feel like other people in their life would still love them through that, or do you feel like you're in a position to be able to love them? Yeah, I'm in a position to do that, okay I was just curious, because it's. I feel like it's not a common thing. I feel like because chris rock said it right one. He's a notable figure. Also, he's a little older than us right so he's lived.
Speaker 2:he's lived a little bit more life, so his opinion resonates with a lot of folks, right? Yeah, and the segment I was going to pivot to was that if you look at media right Academics who's getting canceled now, but if you look at podcasts like uh, that's crazy Cause I broke it up, but you think about it, you don't see nothing for real. Oh he getting, bro, he getting everything stripped away After that video. Yeah.
Speaker 1:To that point that I was making. He still has that core fan base that unconditionally loves him.
Speaker 2:But they're slowly going down. So somebody was somebody made a YouTube video and they was talking about like all of his streams, all of his like lives and stuff have been like steadily going down, like ain't it, and not as many people been like attending them and everything so by next year he'll be, you know what I'm saying. He'll probably still have a core fan base like a couple million people, but he won't have as much influence as he's had in the past.
Speaker 1:And then you get Shadowban too. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:From the platforms and a lot of other platforms not rocking with him so he can't Twitch no more.
Speaker 1:He can't. You know what I'm saying? He can't go to other places. Oh, he done, done. Yeah, he done done. If YouTube is the only place he at, it's you a rap. And I think and Instagram you know what I'm saying, stuff like that, but I don't follow him, so he might have A couple other outlets. Yeah, I don't follow him, I just happen to see it On my algorithms.
Speaker 2:But shout out to him Getting what he deserve, right, but it's a other podcast, right?
Speaker 3:So Shout out to him, yeah, shout out to him, to the end.
Speaker 2:Hey man, look, you get what you deserve bro, you're doing stuff with kids.
Speaker 3:Bro, you gotta go.
Speaker 2:Like yeah.
Speaker 3:Your downfall needs to be shouted out.
Speaker 1:Hey, he definitely did Freaky ass, dude Boy dunzo.
Speaker 2:But it's other podcasts, right. So, Fresh and Fit, Sneako. It's other people that have this what they call a red pill mentality. Yeah, Right, so they will resonate with what Chris Rock said and feel more like yeah, I feel like you got to provide, you got to be a high value man. You know what I'm saying. They don't necessarily share the same perspective we have that women will love you through your trials and tribulations. They have a core fan base as well. Talking about core fan bases, so they have the ear of a lot of men who are watching their content and agree. Not to mention, they have women on the podcast who they manipulate them.
Speaker 3:But I think it's the thing too, though I think they saying that, like, even with what you're saying, women will, you know, love us unconditionally in our lives that we think would do that, we know would do that. But I think it's the mindset they pointing out of, like, if men are looking for that, that's weak. If you're looking for that unconditional love, you know I'm saying it's still standing on your 10 and and doing what you're supposed to as a man, yeah, so I can agree with that you shouldn't be looking for that validation, right? You know I'm saying I would agree with that. You shouldn't be looking for that validation Right.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. I would agree with that. I would agree with that to a degree. But even when you say what you're supposed to do as a man, I think that that can become misconstrued to an audience, to a wider audience, without having your same experiences. They hear that, as I have to check these boxes to be able to get what you. You know what I'm saying To get X, y and Z. So for them it's a means to an end versus it being. Regardless of how you live in your life, you deserve love and compassion and you know you ask somebody here, give me.
Speaker 3:Here's a piece of paper. A man or a woman is what? Just start listening. How many different lists would you come out with with all these people?
Speaker 2:That's going first of all, cats. They all have a. They have a sheep mentality. So everybody going to know that this is the right answer versus putting what they might truly believe. Right, A lot of people are not going to stand on their 10 enough to put a unique answer down. You know what I'm saying. So a lot of people are not going to stand on their 10 enough to put a unique answer down, Right, you know what I'm saying. So that's the problem with the masses. It's like we see something on TV, on a movie, and then we like all right, that's what people believe it really is and that's what they go by. That's why celebrities are so dangerous because they set trends. You know what I'm saying. So, whatever they say, they got a big TikTok page or something like that.
Speaker 1:You know what?
Speaker 2:I'm saying I think that's what's dangerous. It's the narrative that you have to earn love and respect as a man, versus it being a necessary ingredient to your success.
Speaker 1:But you don't, though.
Speaker 2:You feel like okay, explain it though. So you feel like you don't need love as a man to grow into success, or on what part?
Speaker 1:No, you don't, because I mean you do to a certain extent. You know what I'm saying. You need those core people that love and support you through anything. You know what I'm saying. But I feel like everybody has those one or two people. You have those one or two people. Now, if you seeking it from others like friends and stuff like that, that's a problem, because early on you don't know who your real friends are. You know?
Speaker 1:I'm saying like you develop and then you can have a big group of friends and only one person coming out of that. You know what I'm saying. And then you can have a big group of friends and only one person coming out of that. You know what I'm saying. And then you could go along having just you and them, and then you could meet another group of friends and probably just one person to come out of that. You know what I'm saying. And then it'll keep growing until you have these just group of people. That's solid. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, because, like, there's probably only a few people that I love unconditionally, that I'm just going to ride or die for. You know what I'm saying. It's very few. Like one of my partners, like, we got this relationship where we talk to each other every now and then you know what I'm saying. But we've been doing that since I moved here. You feel me, but I used to talk to him all the time when I was there, all the time, because that's.
Speaker 2:That's my homeboy, so that connection right there.
Speaker 1:Let me know that I'm on his mind, so that love right there for him it may not. I don't. I don't consider that unconditional.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying, dig deeper than that though, because what that mean, what that means like what do those actions mean, like those layers of people that you say? There's people that you, that you know, love you, but it's not necessarily unconditional. So you're saying there's a condition on certain relationships.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like so look I agree with everything you said, except for the first part, though I like explain no, I just because um to answer the question. I don't think a man needs love to be successful, like or that help.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, he would need it to get to a new level. You know, I'm saying like you know how they say um, you can't you. You, you can go far as a man, stuff like that, but when you have a partner who's kind of on the same page as you, we can open up other doors. You know, I'm saying that you can go to another level and I believe that.
Speaker 3:Okay, you know what I'm saying. A woman or a partner can elevate your life, you know, in every aspect. But you can still get to a certain level by yourself, without any type of help. You know what I'm saying. I feel.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Look at them, dudes that you've been locked down for how long without any. You know what I'm saying really love, yeah. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Inside, you get out. You ain't really got nobody. You finessing everybody. And you get out. Them niggas ain't got no love, they ain't got no loyalty.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. They ain't get to a certain point, but see your example of them being in jail. That's already. Their success is cut short. So, like any successful person that's went and graduated high school, you have a level of a person who unconditionally loves you because they're waking you up like they don't have to. There's parents out here that don't give a damn if their kids go to school. You know what I'm saying. That's that love that I'm talking about, like that unconditional love that's going to make you successful. Like them, people that don't go to school. You can see them, the niggas that end up in jail because they parents didn't really give a damn if they woke up and did that. But but our parents made sure that that unconditional love I'm getting you up. You're gonna be successful. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Think about them, parents that wake up and tell their kids hey, they say them little mantras like you're successful, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They tell them to say it.
Speaker 3:Affirmations yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then you got parents that they'll make you get up and go to school because they don't want them people knocking at their door yeah, but that's still a level of uh of obligation yeah, yeah, I mean, but is it unconditional love?
Speaker 2:because I agree, because there's people who do it, but for different reasons.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right different, for different means to an end, yeah, and I think that I I guess I agree on a surface level of it's not necessary for for you to be successful, for a man to be successful and have love, but I think it's, I think it is a trait that is necessary for a good man to be successful, for a man to be successful and to have love, but I think it's, I think it is a trait that is necessary for a good man to be successful.
Speaker 3:You know what?
Speaker 2:I'm saying Like and that's the thing like because I agree with that you won't feel fulfilled, but I think that you'll have a way less fulfilling journey. Like your journey will be a lot more painful than it will be like learning.
Speaker 3:A lot more bumps in the road you could have navigated this way because he or she saw it coming, you listened to it. It'd be less purposeful.
Speaker 1:Like you, he'll be going for like revenge.
Speaker 2:He'll be seeking success for like a beat back, like technically successful, but how? You at the end?
Speaker 1:Yeah, he was like yeah, I did it. Yeah, stepped. Yeah, it's like. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I did it. Yeah, stepped on everybody naked he up there by himself?
Speaker 2:yeah and that's what I don't want to be right, and that's what we think about that like. From our generation, we remember a lot of bitter old men. Yeah, talk to me, I ain't never getting married again.
Speaker 1:Yeah don't get married. You know what I'm saying don't settle down.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. So your, so your world owes or they, just they were preaching a message that was not don't focus on women, right, that's not important. Make sure you take her you, and that's not wrong to a degree, but it was coming from a bitter place.
Speaker 1:It was coming from their shit not working instead of, you know, I mean teaching us the right way to go. But but see, we grown now so we know that that man was hurt we. You know what I'm saying, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. He was inside. He was straight like man F that F the world, but he was hurt.
Speaker 3:That boy found out that love was conditional.
Speaker 2:Hey, hey, he ran out of resources.
Speaker 3:She was like bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, mr Johnson.
Speaker 1:I think we have met understanding women well. First of all, we met women that don't have this mentality of my man.
Speaker 2:Gotta do this so you feel like you need to be a balance, like you need to like yeah, you gotta, bro, you bro, it has to.
Speaker 1:Bro, like you got you as a, as a man, you have to. You gotta take care of your responsibilities, bro. That's, that's the thing. Like you gotta. First of all, you gotta know what your responsibilities are. You know what I'm saying, and if you got someone that's gonna sit down and break them responsibilities out for you you know what I'm saying, with you, you know what I'm saying it'll be better off.
Speaker 2:I think that's something to focus in on because, like women say this, right, and I ain't trying to like bash women or anything like that, but they say and I think that's what you was on is they won't out, they want an emotionally intelligent man, right, they want somebody who can be rough and tough when it's necessary, right, but also when they, when they feelings hurt, talk them down, be able to you talking about specific women? Though I mean and that's, but I don't think it's just you hear that they hear this boy.
Speaker 3:They're gonna be pissed off because you just described a specific woman from where we come from what you mean they want an emotionally intelligent man yeah, but a dude that's kind of rough behind the edges, stuff like this. Some women don't want that, bro, they want to be you don't feel like uh, I don't mean like we do we like you don't feel like a woman would want you to defend it.
Speaker 2:Regardless of what you like, how you carry yourself day to day, if something, something pop off, she going to want you to show what's up.
Speaker 1:She going to want you to like show up. You walked into my house the other night. No, the women do not want.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying. Who walked into my house the other night? They definitely don't want you to shake you know what I'm saying or hide behind them. You know what I mean? That's crazy.
Speaker 1:No, they don't want this. Bro. Y'all heard something Coming in the house, or whatever, and you like she's like, oh my god, like what's going on. You like Go quick In the closet and she go in the closet and then she get to looking and you right there With her, don't?
Speaker 2:make no noise. They gonna see us, they gonna find us, or you say Something like oh, what was that?
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying? I don't know. Let's go see.
Speaker 1:No ain't no, let's you supposed to go see? You know what?
Speaker 3:I'm saying so nah, that's some dudes out here That'll say yeah, let's go see, or you go see, I got this Right, but they feel like that's proper.
Speaker 2:They feel like to them that's hey, I'm surviving, so that's I gotta like these new. The new generation of men is on. They don't necessarily have that same chivalrous I'ma go die for you mentality.
Speaker 3:Not him. No, they out here putting hands on women left and right. No, no, no, no Putting hands on women Hold on.
Speaker 1:It's beyond that. Niggas out here sitting there letting their women change the tire. Nigga, fuck that Of course they beating their women because they ain't even changing the tire.
Speaker 2:Bro ain't even helping. He in the car Watching Jay in the car over there changing the tire. We can't have a nigga. What are you doing, bro? You on the side of the highway, bro, letting your woman do that?
Speaker 1:But them the type of dudes that be hitting that woman though you know what I'm saying People that'll let that woman do that Like bro. What are you doing? That's wild. That's wild.
Speaker 2:Hey, look To let a woman change a tire, bro yeah, and you be chilling in the car. I can understand, not knowing how, and she knows how, like just by happenstance.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying. I can understand the situation, but you need to be outside watching. Well, you need to be outside helping watching holding the light doing something bro Can't.
Speaker 1:Get this. Women are allowing that Because, guess what? The dude in there with the money, yeah, he in there with the money, somehow.
Speaker 1:These are the type of women that be like girl. I just want to you know what I'm saying a man that do this and do that, and when she finally get him, he ain't doing like he got all the money Because that's what you wanted. You know what I'm saying. That's what you, that's what you, that's what you wanted. You know what I'm saying. That's what you wanted. You wanted the money, then the man that can take care of you. But guess what? You're doing all the work. You're cooking, you're cleaning, you're cooking, you're you're. You're changing the tire, you're changing the oil, you're doing the brakes like you're doing everything, like get out of here.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying, and ain't nothing wrong with that right like if you're a woman who likes to do those things but you shouldn't have to do those things.
Speaker 2:It shouldn't be to a point where, like your man, don't at least try to learn from you if you the one who has the knowledge you know what I'm saying Like that's just crazy.
Speaker 2:Like you, definitely should be like babe, come watch me change the style yeah, that's just, that's wild Like well, first of all have to say that okay, but but explain that right, because there's different types of men, because what we're explaining, I feel like, is a masculine man, that's somebody who has some masculine traits about himself, and that's not everybody. We understand that we've seen some very um, weak men.
Speaker 1:Weak men all right, that's. That's the word.
Speaker 2:We're gonna say that so be, nice bro but at the same time there's just men who are a little bit more feminine, right, maybe they were raised by people who didn't necessarily instill masculine traits in them, maybe they learned in late, so they just happen to be a little bit more feminine than other guys.
Speaker 1:My boy should be out on the side of the road waiting on triple a but I'm saying about love, though.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like masculine men get more love than feminine men, or they deserve more love than feminine men uh, I feel like masculine men probably get it less you feel like, just naturally, they, yeah, receive it less because you think about a confident, masculine man, a lot of people might be envious, not not more welcoming.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. Like people, more people would think like he already got it. You know I'm saying like. Then you know that's. That's another thing. When we were talking about moving like you already got it, we we move, like we already. You know, like we already had it. But we got developed a lot of hate because a lot of people was like oh, oh yeah, you know what I'm saying. So, yeah, like people, I don't think they will even love you the same if they feel like you already got it. You know what I'm saying? Like it's different. The people will treat you different for real.
Speaker 2:Like certain people will. Yeah, I think that's the people I'm talking about, right, because you may have, like you stated, you may have one or two people in your corner. Those people may have been in your corner your whole life.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:It's also been a lot of people watching from the sideline, kind of hating, you know what I mean. They close because they want to benefit from you but they don't really rock with you like that.
Speaker 1:What about that person that's been there all that time and you start gaining success and they start hating you just because you ain't.
Speaker 2:How dare you leave them at the bottom? How dare you?
Speaker 1:So close to home.
Speaker 2:But that's how people feel, bro. You think about it. A lot of cats is upset because they feel like they was making either better choices than you or the same choices as you and you ended up in a better situation than they in. They feel like they deserve to be there Luck of the draw.
Speaker 3:But look, so look. I feel though.
Speaker 2:Luck of the draw is cold bro the masculine man for me. Um, they, they get more of the respect, yeah, and less of the love, yeah, okay you know everybody don't respect them more than they love they, they, they expect them, they expect more from them or they count on them. I think that they get that. There are people like trusting them, but they don't necessarily show them all the romantic or like I'm just saying I'm just trying to visualize.
Speaker 3:If you say in your mind a this person over here is a masculine man. B this person over here is, you know, say, has more feminine qualities of a man. And if them two guys walked into a room, the women, what kind of eyes would they receive? Or not, not even women people, what kind of people? Uh, what kind of eyes would they receive?
Speaker 1:you know, I'm saying when they walk in that room they're gonna respect and look at the masculine man yeah other guy can just slide in real quick, make good conversations and make connections yep, it's a, it's a different presence about it, you know, I mean they got a different what they say I was told I had bad aura.
Speaker 3:That's crazy, son.
Speaker 2:I don't know I think it depends on the person.
Speaker 1:I think it depends on, all right, it's not a bad, it's not a bad aura, but, like you have, you have a protective energy around you. You know what I'm saying. Like it's it's a barrier, like you ain't letting people in or you ain't letting yourself fully out. You know what I'm saying. So, and I think people can see that it's not bad, but they like, hmm, who are you and them type of people they can't figure out who you are. We know who you are, but they can't. People that don't know you. They like you have a wild aura.
Speaker 3:Like you know what I'm saying Get them crystals away from me. That's how I feel. Think about it. Have you ever ran into some?
Speaker 2:shit and bounced off. You ever ran into some shit and bounced off? Yeah, like one of them big ass balls. I just want you to think about it. What balls? I'm not talking testicles.
Speaker 1:I'm talking the plastic balls that you run into each other with and you bounce off each other. Them the Like, like, like sock-em-boppers.
Speaker 2:With bodies, ain't nobody imagine None but nuts bouncing together At this point.
Speaker 1:That's terrible. Okay, that's on y'all. I ain't never seen that. I said no testicles.
Speaker 2:This nigga, this nigga. You go to hell.
Speaker 1:I ain't going with you. I ain't going with you. That's not what my mind was, but go ahead bro.
Speaker 2:But no, what I was saying was Talking about your aura, bro. Cats get mad Cause they can't penetrate, they can't get close to you Without, like, sacrificing something. So that's pretty much what.
Speaker 1:It's what it's combined to Straight from balls To I'm just going to be like that. You know what I'm saying, and then say shit after that, hey man.
Speaker 3:Don't listen to these dudes. We're trying to work on the vernacular. You know what I'm saying, for real though we ain't from New York. We ain't from New York, we ain't supposed to be saying pause all the time? No, we not. We ain't from New York. We ain't from New York, but we ain't finna be saying pause all the time. Nah, we not. We ain't know that.
Speaker 1:We actually grown. You know what I'm saying, Like things. You don't sound like it. You know what I'm saying. Hey, I might not sound like it, I'm a little bit ass kid, but it's okay grown, you know I don't. I don't feel it necessary to say pause all the time. You know I'm saying like it's cool to play around and stuff like that when we joking.
Speaker 3:But seriously, I don't think like that if you gotta sit there and say pause and everything, why your mind's always in that? Gutter bro, like, say what you mean, mean what you say. Yeah, we should be able to understand what you mean.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying, about your energy, about what you're saying, so go ahead and bro, nothing else to say man nothing else to say, no, but I appreciate that because, like I said, that's something I'm constantly working on, though, because clients that I you know what I'm saying Interact with, they don't sense that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because.
Speaker 3:I try to make sure I don't give up that it's business, it's work. So I want you to feel like You're comfortable in this chair. I got my hands on you For at least an hour. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:But maybe you just explained it, you're just more. It's the people.
Speaker 1:That you know. You know how I was explaining. Like I don't necessarily want to talk to people. You know what I'm saying and I think it's like that with all of us. When we by ourselves, when we together, it's cool. You know what I'm saying, we comfortable. You know what I'm saying. We know that somebody got our back. When we out there by ourselves, we like all right, cool, I got to be on my P's and Q's, so our aura is not welcoming. It's like do not fuck with me right now because you just might get hurt. Stay away, please. Like I'm not. They can see, they can sense that it's naturally defensive.
Speaker 3:Like look if the world worked off like colors. It's random and you saw me in public. You see a bar over my head it probably be yellow, like because you don't know which. You're gonna get red. Gonna be a nigga. You don't wanna mess with green. Gonna be try yellow, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Mine would be orange. Yeah, because it'll be on the verge of yellow and red.
Speaker 2:Mine would be green until it's too late. All of a sudden it's red, like wait, wait, hold on. I thought this was green. That's going to be my light A lot of you think this is green yeah.
Speaker 3:A lot of people you would.
Speaker 1:A lot of you think it's green. Yeah, A lot of people. You will see a lot of greens, bro.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, but but that'll be hilarious bro I feel like that's good, though I think that's the problem.
Speaker 3:We raising green kids.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:That's what.
Speaker 2:I'm saying Like you think about it.
Speaker 3:You know that that's better.
Speaker 1:We just don't operate that.
Speaker 2:My ass is white. That's oblivious. That's got to occur in the world, bro. That's the thing.
Speaker 3:Why not raise your kids to have that type of freedom in their mind, where they ain't got to do that type of stuff?
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:They ain't walking around with their head on a swivel Right, or you should be on your pivot and be ready to. You know, I'm saying maneuver if something come, but you shouldn't be nervous. Well, not not even nervous, just so alert all the time.
Speaker 1:And that's how I feel bro and I think I think I'm gonna teach my kids that when they had a like first fight or something like that, like what to watch out for and stuff like that, you know. But until then I don't think it's necessary for them to know. Like like be aware, it's a be aware of certain things, you know.
Speaker 3:I'm saying like don't let nobody hit you, and you know, I'm saying just be aware but it's like, because you say that, because you could be putting that fear in them early, yeah, you just tell them watch out for this. Like wow, be like wow.
Speaker 1:Be careful, you know what I'm saying. Like nah, it's a time and a place for that.
Speaker 2:But at the same time you grew up in a more traumatic environment, so you had more expertise and exercise in those things. You know what I'm saying and, to your point, you're saying that you benefit from that. You know what I'm saying You're able to protect your. You know they, people can call on you if something go down, blah, blah, blah. But you saying you raising your kids differently, do you feel like that's gonna make them better or do you feel like you are depriving them of those same skills that you have? Nah?
Speaker 1:because it's like, like unique said, you have that parent that puts that in, you like it's. It's. It wasn't like, say, for instance, when he was saying like dad told him he was the man of the house. It didn't necessarily mean get up and go get my gun, it meant it was a mindset. You know what I'm saying. It was like you, the man of the house. So it's the same with with us. So we say certain things, but they see it, they see what, how we move. You know what I'm saying. If they see that it's a, if it's a bump in the night, they see that if we gonna get up. You know what I'm saying. So those are the type of things that they're gonna carry on with them. They're gonna like they. We don't have to necessarily say, hey, you do this, they're gonna see that. Oh well, my dad did this, so this is what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 3:You know, like yeah, I'll be saying I'll show you better knock it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, like I ain't gonna tell him I tell my daughter all the time like, hey, ain't no monsters in here, you know I'm here, you know what I'm saying, like if something was to happen. So if she comes and be like, oh, I hear something, she know I'm finna, what is it? What's going's going on?
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying, so you feel like that's teaching her to do the same thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Like if she hears something, like when she grows up and she's able to have her own things and stuff, like that, she'll hear things and be like, okay, what's going on? You know what I'm saying. Instead of being like, oh my God, oh my God, what's going on? Ah, like you know, I'm saying like that ain't, that ain't how she gonna be, she ain't gonna be afraid to go and check. You know, I'm saying she'll be equipped to know what's going on, but I'm also planning on teaching my kids that too, when they get of age, like, hey, this is what you should do if, if this blah, blah, blah, but now, no, that's not for them to know.
Speaker 3:That's not for them At this young age.
Speaker 1:Yes, they can see me how I do it and I'm pretty sure it's going to come up later in life to where they're like well, why did you do this? You know what I'm saying? It's the same thing. When I told you, I was like, yeah, I got locked up. And she finally was like you went to jail.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was in jail. You're able to comprehend what this stuff really means. Like damn, you went to that place, yeah. So, yeah, I'm interested in how that conversation going to go when my son starts asking those type of questions. But we got to be able to be able to tell him those lessons. So, you know, be able to have that knowledge and wisdom. You know what I'm saying To give to them.
Speaker 1:And now she, she, uh, she saw 60 days in you know what I'm saying Like she'd be watching them kind of type of show. She'd be sitting there, it ain't you?
Speaker 2:know they she's older.
Speaker 1:She's like wow, there's jail. You know what I'm saying? Like they showing it. Now I'm glad they are, because people like my kids that see that now they're like oh, I don't want to go to jail. You know what I'm saying? Like it ain't something fun. Did you used to ever?
Speaker 3:have a fear and this having fun. Did you used to ever have a fear? And this can go for you or do you, uh, have a fear of, like man, I don't want to spoil my kids, I don't want to show them too much, and what does that mean?
Speaker 2:saying that, you know, I'm saying I definitely have that mindset because I understand we talk about balance and stuff, right. But I also want to make sure I instill value. I don't want to just buy things for the sake of buying things. I want to make sure that there's lessons involved in things, not saying they have to necessarily earn everything, but I do want to make sure that there's a value system in place so they understand that, like when you do certain things, you get rewarded. You may get like a piece of candy every once in a while, you may get snacks and things like that, but you get this special snack when you do x, y and z. You know what I mean. So like they'll already have everything that they need, you know in most situations, but then they'll be able able to get reward systems on top of those things.
Speaker 1:And that's what I want to make sure I do. You know that meme with the cat with the googly eyes it's like a cat Puss in Boots. Yeah, it's like a cat looking at her oh yeah, once you see your kid, all that shit that you're talking is out the window.
Speaker 2:That's cool. I'm prepared for that.
Speaker 3:I'm saying right now I'm squaring up for that value system because of what I don't want, what I don't want, and that's cool, bro.
Speaker 1:I'm going to cry myself to sleep, and that's okay, I just want to make sure I position myself. So what do you mean by the value system? Because there's certain things that like all right. So when you got two parents, bro, your wife is going to do things and say things that you're going to be like dang, she can't have it Because you like candy.
Speaker 1:So your daughter is probably going to naturally like candy, right? So I don't know if your wife naturally like candy or sweets, so that might keep her away from them. Not your daughter, but your wife is going to be like no, she can't have these certain things. But you're be like you know what I'm saying like why can't she so like? You'll naturally kind of like sneak it to her type of like here, baby, you know what?
Speaker 2:I'm saying so it's.
Speaker 1:It's certain things like that because you gonna. So I'm just saying like it's a value thing. But for me, like I'm just more of the disciplinary, because I know that they listen to me, all the core things, we know, we got that together. You know what I'm saying, all the values and stuff like that. But it's certain little stuff that I kind of like go outside the lines because they're my babies. You know what I mean. Them, the girls.
Speaker 3:You feel me Real quick question then you feel me like what is real quick question then what do you um think of when you hear the roles kind of flip, when it's a woman who's more disciplinary in the household?
Speaker 2:um, I think that that, unless it works for that relationship, like it's just something that she naturally assumes and prefers, I think that it puts an unnatural strain on the woman. That's just me personally. I think that women's natural role is just to be more caring. You know what I mean. They just tend to be better at showing love and giving love in a tangible way. So I think that when they assume the role of the disciplinarian, it conflicts with how they naturally how they naturally are.
Speaker 2:But if she just had like she may be military or she just grew up in a home where the mom was they from a certain city I think that if they fall into that, cool, but they shouldn't have to assume that role, in my opinion yeah, because I was talking, I just that it came up.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying. So I was thrown off when I heard. I was like what? But I kind of understand it Because the person you know what I'm saying Easy going. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Chill.
Speaker 3:So the wife you know what I'm saying. Her personality is more Rah rah, you know more loud. So he kind of sit back and kind of you know what I'm saying Come in and pitch in when he needs to. And that's the balance that we talking about. We've got to have balance.
Speaker 2:I think that that works, like for people who bring in kids, like when you have your kids, like outside of that relationship, and you bring in your kids. I think that that default works. When you share a child with somebody, I think it's a little bit different because, regardless of who side it falls on, there needs to be a power dynamic. There needs to be I do this, you do this right. It don't have to be like gender roles, specific. It just needs to be an understanding. Like when this happens, you give whoopings, I give talks like this. You know what I'm saying. This is how the relationship goes and it doesn't again have to be split that way, just whatever works for that specific union yeah, because I like all right.
Speaker 1:So in my household the person that does the duty is the person who doesn't like doing a something else. So my wife doesn't like washing clothes or folding them. So guess what I do?
Speaker 1:I wash the clothes or fold them and fold them. But I don't do the dishes that much. I do them if it's totally necessary. If she just don't, if she, you know, I pick up more of the slack when my wife just doesn't feel like doing something and I get it. You do a lot of stuff around the house, you, you prepare things for them, you, you get them ready. So I don't mind pitching in. But that's the, that's the role that that I'll be trying to tell certain men like bro, like why don't you just pick up? You know I'm saying pick up the slack. You know I'm saying where you know it's necessary, if it's not clean around the house, bro, why you ain't?
Speaker 3:clean, because some dudes just feel like that's just beneath them, like that's just not my lane at all and then I crazy that shouldn't be nothing I need to worry about.
Speaker 2:It's that red pill talk I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying they feel like people are supposed to be in certain gender roles, right, so that's what we talk about. When it's like earning conditional love. They feel like men are supposed to be the breadwinners. Right when they position themselves as such. That's why they tell you you don't focus on women, you need to go to school, you need to do this right. Push-ups. They feel like you're supposed to reach a certain height as a man first, right before you qualify. It's a qualification before you qualify to enter the realm of getting women right, because then, when you do so, you have better pickings. And da, da, da, da da. I think that that's a dangerous mentality right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because them, the dudes who be having four and five wives also, I mean Because they, you know. So that to me is absolutely wrong, because you need that person that's going to sit there and support you on your way up. That way y'all can do this together. And when you hit that success mark mark, they've been there since the beginning. Yeah, you know I'm saying so, they gonna grow with you. Like that's why I don't agree with getting to a getting up there, because when you get up there in success, you got a different mindset, bro. You got like I'm this, you know, you real cocky bro. Yeah, you know, I'm saying so. Women you probably start mistreating women. You know, I'm saying like when you you already reached this success level, we touched on it because it's out of revenge, it's out of hurt you know, you.
Speaker 2:You feel like you had a place where people hurt you or they told you you wasn't good exactly this whole time, so now that you are good enough, you gonna shove it in their faces, or that someone told you you gotta reach this success level.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, to beat your confidence up to where you're like no, no, I can't even talk to her. I gotta get this money. Nah, bro, you supposed to go shoot your shot. Bro.
Speaker 3:I guess what people be saying. The phrase people who are successful are assholes.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Think about it, they got money and they ain't got nobody. Mean a lot of them are yeah, because I mean, think about it, they got money and they ain't got nobody.
Speaker 2:I think a lot of like super successful people are like when you think about billionaires and like people who are like the one percenters. Yeah, absolutely. I think that people who just are successful in general I think there's a lot of good people who are just successful in general yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:Because they have a certain level of selfishness about them. Yeah, so let's say it's like skip bayless yeah he has verbally said like my career comes first over my wife, yeah like and she knows that. Yeah, so he's gotten to a certain point where he was like almost the top. He was the top, you know, I'm saying at his point before that boy steven, they took his spot. Um, so he, you think he got some unconditional love. Check this out.
Speaker 1:No, his wife knows that. But but see, we don't know what goes on in the rich, you know what I'm saying because a lot of women feel like that's necessary.
Speaker 2:They watch their dads do that. That's how their moms was. They feel like that's necessary. They watch their dads do that. That's how their moms was. They feel like that's the ideal thing to do. Find you a dude who's going to secure your future, secure your kid's future. Them like the only boxes they check, they don't trip off. Does he talk to me, nice? Does he focus on me? Does he put me first, like I feel like that's more of an American woman mindset. I think that even if you go like overseas, a lot of those guys tend to focus on self and success first, because they know women gonna come.
Speaker 2:They already know that that's a part of the process. Right, because I was watching this show and it was like a nigerian dude. He was like no, this is, oh, this is part of the process. Like my parents encouraged marriage, like that's a necessary part of my heritage, like how I live my life, yeah, like marriage is just a part of life. You know what I'm saying? It's not a thing that we because like here, we like oh, if I, if I get like you know what I'm saying yeah, it's an option for them, it's an obligation exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2:So the way that they approach it, the mindset behind is different. That's why I like what you said earlier. When we talk about even kids or love or anything, it's about mindset. It's about, like, how we think and feel about the situation, how we go into it. That's why I say, like, with unconditional love, we never really explained it, but like that love gonna look different, like unconditional love for you, for you, for me, it's all gonna look different. In the, in the context of I might need words, affirmation, right, talk about the love languages where you might need acts of service, where you might need physical touch. You know what I'm saying. You need some people to like hug you or or like hold you close, to feel like, oh, that's who loves me. You know what I'm saying? Versus I may need somebody to speak life into me. Then I'm like, okay, that person pays attention to me. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:like, yeah, different situations you have to be a person that doesn't have anybody, to just not have any type of unconditional love. There is that I mean, there are people out there, yeah there are definitely people out there, but there's that one person that love you unconditionally, whether they, whether they like the dog, for sure, but like you ain't. Hey, if you got a my buddy, what?
Speaker 1:but that's why chris walk said what he said yeah, yeah, absolutely but okay, because that's what I'm saying, because, no matter what you're gonna, even as a young dude, bro, like think about your friend group.
Speaker 2:Right, we all have talked about this, whether it was gang culture or it was just like the clique that you run with, even to play basketball. Bro, you gotta prove yourself. Like you gotta be in a position like cats, don't give you nothing for free. Nah, you know what I'm saying. Like you got to be in a position to either prove your skill, prove your worth. Like you know what I'm saying. That's how we treat each other, we. You got to qualify to get to this next thing. You don't just walk up on here, absolutely you know what I'm saying, so it's like it's a different situation.
Speaker 2:I think that's a mentality that we learn from a young age, yeah, and even with our parents, like they've just learned. It's something we repeat time and time again from way back when, right.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, that's taught like generations on generations, Like that's taught way back in the day. But I mean, I've never experienced that, though I've never experienced not having somebody that love me, bro, Like.
Speaker 3:I don't. You probably never. Well, you never experienced it. But let me say this have you had a period of time In your life when you talk to yourself Like man, I ain't got nobody love me, no, like I honestly have? That I definitely have, it's the mental stuff, you know what I'm saying Like. Yeah, you get into a spot when you in a bad place and it was just being by yourself, bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you ain't got nobody Shit, it feel different. It feel way different.
Speaker 2:I can understand that, bro. That's a dark place. You know what I'm saying when you start, you feel it Like you said. You feel it around you. You understand people ain't within reach. You know what I mean? Yeah, you feel like a motherfucker ain't going to understand Situations and shit like that. It's a hard situation to be in, bro, especially as a man. I think that's difficult.
Speaker 3:Like I said, you just snap out of it because you realize you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:That's when you got to identify your why?
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely, Absolutely. That's why I got out of that point. You know what I'm saying. I got to the dark space mentally and then identified my why.
Speaker 1:Clicked out of it. You know what I'm saying and see, I never went that deep like in a, in a situation where I was locked up. You know I'm saying, and when you call on people that you think can are are there for you and they not I mean, but I never went to that where, oh, they don't love me, like I didn't rely on them anymore.
Speaker 1:That just made it like all right, cool, I know what it is, you know what I'm saying, but I still got to go through this journey myself. It's cool. It's like you know, like them people ain't there for you, but like those people that reach out, that always pick up the phone when you call, those were the things that I hold on to you feel me like I was like all right, my mom always pick up the phone when I call, no matter what, no matter what, wherever she is.
Speaker 2:I was gonna ask you if you mind it, like like all y'all, like well, both of y'all I said all y'all, like it's multiple, more than just a few of us in here, but would you mind naming those people that you feel like gave you that unconditional love? You know what I'm saying? That you needed to pull you out At least the main ones, right, because there may have been like a flurry of people, but like the people that you feel like really pulled you out of where you was at.
Speaker 1:So one, my mom, yeah, yeah, two would be my friend that I was telling you about that. I was like it ain't necessarily unconditional love, but bro would pick up the phone every time I called, but like no matter what if he needed to put some money on the phone or anything like he. He did that. My grandmother, when she was alive, you know, my cousin Roger, he picked up any time. You know it was also people around those people when I, when I called, so my, for my partner, it was all the people that that I always kicked it with my sister, my brothers, like I told you, I like I was in jail one time. I had to tell them the whole thing, you know what I'm saying, told them the whole spiel, but I really couldn't talk to them because my dad was one that didn't answer the phone every time I called. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:And Tiny Mo, tiny Mo, I couldn't really call Mason, because Mason wasn't, he wasn't around, and my cousin Marlon, I, he wasn't around and my cousin Marlon. I can never, I can never leave him out, because on my journey down here to Texas I wasn't necessarily locked up or anything, but I was alone. My wife was gone, my kids was gone, my mom's was gone and he allowed me in. Like he took me in. You know I'm saying Allowed me to stay in his room in the basement and everything, gave me a key, like, hey, I love him for that and I never like he was also the person that swung at me. If y'all remember that episode, he was the person that cocked back and swung at me with that.
Speaker 2:But sometimes I'm people necessary. That's my dog.
Speaker 1:I love you but those are the people man like, those are the core people that that held me down. You know what I'm saying, regardless of how our relationship is now.
Speaker 2:I feel like you got a good balance, though, bro, like when I listen to the people that you was naming. You got a good balance between like friends and family like. I think that that's that's definitely necessary.
Speaker 1:Yeah because it's always been there. Yeah, that's the thing. When you sit back and think about who those people are and I I kind of went off the cuff with that, but you know what I'm saying. Like I didn't, I didn't have no people written down or nothing like that. You know what I'm saying, but that's that's thing, and I didn't expect you to name those people either.
Speaker 2:That's why I think that that's my thing Like, because even for somebody like me, like when I think back on my life, the narrative has always been like I got a lot of this by myself, like you know what.
Speaker 2:I'm saying Like I wouldn't got a lot of this by myself, but there's been people at pivotal points in my life to make, excuse me, make a difference. Right, yeah, and I'm yawning, not crying, um so, but like, because I said like I had a little, had a little breath, but what I wanted to what I wanted to say. You said my two look at which is, which is love. Yours, yours is authentic, yeah, but like for me, I've had like, especially friends, right like my family, has always look, look, look.
Speaker 1:Which is love? Yours is authentic.
Speaker 2:But I just wanted to make sure, yeah, but like for me, I've had, like especially friends, right, like my family has always been small and it ain't that we not there for each other, but the love that we have has always been kind of like a different definition than what most families kind of have. You know what I'm saying, like the way that we love each other. But it's always been there. Like you said, people have always been there. But, like for me, I definitely have had, I've been blessed enough to have like a dope friend group or at least pivotal people who step into my life at times where, like, I absolutely need them. You know what?
Speaker 2:I'm saying so um, like if I had a name drop dog we might be here all night. But if I had like, but like key people for me like. Shout out to my boy Chad, rest in peace. Shout out to my boy Matt. Shout out to my boy um Lil, uh. Shout out to my boy Keith. Um, like, shout out, those people definitely like, especially like during my time in St Louis.
Speaker 2:Like like cat was by my, I was by myself a lot, you know what I'm saying. Like I happened to. I was one of them cats who didn't have like A core circle. Like I always had people who again Stepped in at key Pivotal times, but that's also Cause I was always One of them niggas who just like Was tucked off by myself. Like I'll never forget. I told my, I told my cousin One time.
Speaker 2:Shout out to my boy Jerm. My cousin like, oh yeah, during this year I was like homeless, I was trying to do this. He's like nigga, what? Why didn't you tell me, nigga, you could have come stay with me? And like he got like upset with me. Bro, like dude was like mad and I ain't tripping for it, but I was like again, I was just one of those people who, like I, suffer by myself, like I suffer in silence before, and like people I have to, like, show up yeah, you know, after they had to beat her, at the right time to understand like oh yeah, I did need some help well, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:you didn't, you didn't really know who loved you unconditionally but that and that was my.
Speaker 2:So because of how I grew up in my, like my core family structure, because that that version of love was different. Yeah, you didn't, I didn't recognize it when it came through other people. So that's. I just thank you for bringing that around, because that's the point I wanted to make, because for me, I my friend showed showed a different version of love because of the positions that they were in, right, and I wasn't done with my list because, uh, yeah, we, like I said we'll be here all night, but but and then, like because for me, like we we've talked about it before on a podcast right, like 2018 was a pivotal moment in my life.
Speaker 2:That like where I had to reset. Right, like I had to like kind of restart from scratch and and deal with a lot of stuff, but like people like unique was there for me, like even from from outside the state. Like you know what I'm saying. Like I remember I remember the bird was homeless. Like you know what I'm saying like bro was trying to trying to make it and I remember I was saving up some bread to uh, in fact, I think I was sleeping on my little sister couch and I was saving up some bread to try to, um, get me my own spot, bro, and bro spot me like 300, some on my deposit so I could like hurry up and go get my own spot. You know what I'm saying. So it's like people like that. That again, didn't have to be like right next to me, you know what I'm saying, didn't have to be like necessarily going through the same situation as me, but was there at a pivotal moment in my life that was able to like here's this. You know what?
Speaker 2:I'm saying this for me is just a token to make sure that you good, you know what I mean and that those type of people are like why I'm successful today. You know what I'm saying, not to mention for like two, two and a half years. You know I'm saying so like, I think that those, those are the things that we have to realize too. Like again, like for me, I recognize in friendships, like, how different it is, because now, as an adult, I realize, oh, these people did love me in that way, but I didn't realize it because my family taught me a different version of love, so I had to, like, separate myself from a version. I'm still separating from it In certain situations, right, yeah, and not in a way where I'm not loving them, just the, the, like, the definition of what that love is and building on it, now Understanding that it needed more, it had holes in it.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like.
Speaker 2:And growing from there. Cause not bashing it. My family loved me the way that they could. You know what I'm saying just understand that I had to. I had it to get more, to develop more. You know what?
Speaker 3:I'm saying the way that you perceived it.
Speaker 2:Ask me that question again, bro so people who, uh, you feel like were pivotal, like in, or you feel like gave you that unconditional love that you needed to be able to do what you needed to do or become successful.
Speaker 1:I'm going to spend that. Okay, because of where you were and you were alone. You know what I'm saying. Who were those people that you thought about and called on and picked up every time you called?
Speaker 2:That's probably a short list, yeah.
Speaker 3:Shanties. Shout out to Shanties. Yeah, shout out. Shout out to Shanties. Yep, shout out, shout out to Shanties because and that's the only I say, female friend, I had. You know what I'm saying, that you could like call her on yeah, and she.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying. She was able to give me a ear and understand what I was going through with some other stuff. You know what I'm saying. So shout out to her with that. And, of course, my moms and my pops. You know what I'm saying. I reached out to my sister, but I ain't want her to worry too much. Yeah, you know, I talked to you know aunt and stuff like that, but, like I said, I ain't put y'all in the mix. Yeah, yeah, it was on purpose. So Certain things. Yeah, I kept a lot of that in, so and it ain't healthy. So To this day, niggas still score from that shit.
Speaker 3:That out bro, but that was my trench. Yeah, man, we had the trophies, though Still getting yeah.
Speaker 1:We gonna get more. Nah, that shit occurred straight up, like I said. Yeah, man, we had the trophies though. Yeah, yeah, we gonna get more.
Speaker 3:Nah that's your curse, straight up. Like I said, that's the list is short. You know what I'm saying, cause, uh, I know I got that love but, like you said, there's certain pockets In your life and seasons where People show up. You know what I'm saying. Everybody gonna know the love you know what. I'm saying so they gonna feel it Because I'm going to show up.
Speaker 2:That's the shit that's like. I think that people have to realize. That's the power that we have too. That's what the importance of showing up for motherfuckers right Understanding. There's people in your life who, just there, you know what I'm saying and sometimes you do need to test it. You know what I'm saying. You do need to call on them in your darkest time so you understand, like, who they're for fun and who they're for.
Speaker 1:You know, for everything, who they're to ride with you and who they're just when you at the top you know, regardless of what what they saying, you know what I'm saying. Like for me, I got you got a lot of people that that say stuff and it make you upset, but I still show up for them. You know what I'm saying. So but that's the good thing about us, because if you ain't cut me too deep like like bro said in the first couple of episodes, if you ain't cut me too deep, I can still. You know what I'm saying. I might you know what I'm saying. I might, might get healed.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. I might get healed.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying to go back, but don't cut me to the point where I'm like bruh you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:So in my opinion, I feel like when we're talking about unconditional love there's we gotta be okay with people falling into separate categories. I think we grow up with an expectation that everybody in my family get unconditional love. Everybody, everybody in my family, get unconditional love. Everybody, everybody that's my blood, get unconditional love, like that's the expectation In our culture. Well, that ain't necessarily the case.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Friends we've had.
Speaker 3:Since we were two years old. It's like categories Associated with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's, you gotta be okay, letting them motherfucking know. Hey, you end up in the conditional category. There are certain things that me and you are cool with. This it, this is what our relationship is, but if you do this, we're not cool, no more. Like you know what I'm saying. I think the problem is we want to love everybody unconditionally and we think everybody love us unconditionally, but when you mess up, when you lie, when you get caught stealing or you know what I'm saying you do something crazy. People got the right to put you in a separate category and say I only rock with you on this level now and them people, them people in the back they be like.
Speaker 3:I always knew he yeah.
Speaker 1:But I always had a saying, though Like that I always tell like Cause, tiny Mo, that ain't necessarily my friend, that's family, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, but I always said Everybody that's family Ain't necessarily blood. You know what I'm saying. Like your bloodline Can have some people in it that you don't necessarily Consider family. Like y'all cool, but bro, we ain't. You know what I'm saying. Like one of my cousins, like I told y'all but like I disassociated Myself with him, like you, you ain't family to me, no more. Like period, bro, like it's a wrap with you. We blood, but you ain't family to me, bro. Yeah.
Speaker 3:So I think it's a difference for me. We can be bound by blood, but we ain't bound by love.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like we ain't got that type of bond. Yeah, we, we got the same blood, you know similar, but we ain't, we ain't bonding off that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You can identify me through ancestry, but we ain't family, bro. I think that's what I hate. I want to, and I want to get back to that when we when we're talking about like unconditional love, I think that we used to harbor that at things like family reunions and like get togethers right even just going over grandma house or all the cousins getting together having like a sleepover somewhere. I think that that provides like a opportunity for all the kids to be in one place. People are everybody. Parents be around. You know what I'm saying. Everybody's showing love to each other. Like even even when we was a unique group and we was playing games, it's multiple generations of people in the room, like stuff like that. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:I think that that's what we need to make sure that people understand what unconditional love really look like, instead of us having to go outside our family. But I also feel like with that, with that explanation, right, black people are not a monolith. Like we don't have to all be the same type of person to be around each other. You know what I'm saying? We supposed to want the nerds to come around. You're supposed to want the weirdos to come around, so they stop being weird.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying, like that's the point, bro, stop being weird, you know what I'm saying. Like that's the point, bro.
Speaker 3:Like we all, supposed to come together and be together. It's just going to be toned down.
Speaker 2:Hey, well, we won. Then it's a couple hours where they a little less weird Look we're going to identify this him.
Speaker 3:Yeah, or that's her. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:At least everybody know. Now, though, bro, because them, the people that actually need us in their life, because they don't be protecting theyself, they be letting people beat up on them, and we, we, the type of people like unique bro, like how do you deal with these situations? Like like mate, how you yeah, I keep getting pushed around. Like how do you you know, I'm saying like that because I done had little cousins like bro. Like how you do that, like you know what I'm saying, like that, cause I done had little cousins like bro. Like how you do that, like you know what I'm saying, like how you be walking like that, like you got, like I done been asked that before. Like I got confidence. You know what I'm saying. Like why, how you walk like that.
Speaker 3:Hey, man just turns 33. It killed me like it's like damn. These things are really looking up to me. Yeah, like damn, you know what I'm saying and I, you gotta, you know what I'm saying, feed into them, especially with my, with my occupation now. So I feel like that's definitely something I'm kind of obligated to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You. You know what I'm saying, it's speaking to them and why I got that time to.
Speaker 1:I rock with that. You real kind for that, bro. I want you to really pick and choose who you get advice to yeah cause like today made me kind of realize, bro, like everybody don't deserve that advice from us. Bro, for real, like if you want that advice they need to tune into the podcast. I say as much access because you can, yeah obviously you can get advice.
Speaker 2:It's just access to you. Like it's that to be that close to you because some people ain't moving right, so you allowing certain spirits or or people to have access to you. Oh yeah, you can come through the back. Now, all of a sudden it's a few niggas coming through the back. You know what I'm saying. Like just understanding that people ain't always got your best interest at heart. But I think I think all of us need to understand that. Right, because I feel like we have superpowers, because you go through life and you understand like, all right, this is what love is you. You start learning what self-worth is, and I think that has to do a lot with what chris rock said.
Speaker 2:Right, to bring things back to the original point, yeah, what he had going was like I think he was getting divorced or something, like some stuff was going on in his life. I don't I can't even remember if this was. I think this was post, post the slap. You know what I'm saying. I think this was after he got slapped. Okay, you know what I'm saying. So it's like are you hurt? That's why you feel like that is your specific situation, where that's true. I'm not saying it's dishonest. I'm not saying his situation doesn't qualify as that.
Speaker 1:Right, but anybody else?
Speaker 2:But it's not general, because the way that he laid it out was a blanket Right. It was like only women. He didn't say in my life or I've experienced that. He just said in general, this is what it is Right. And then then of course, got a lot of claps and amens and stuff for all of that stuff.
Speaker 1:So, all right, so this could be for another time, but I know some women that are not unconditional, uh, that are conditionally loved. Oh, I feel like most women are. I feel like I feel like they have to bring something to the table as well exactly think about it.
Speaker 2:That's the, that's been the, the phrase of the last. What four, five years?
Speaker 3:What do?
Speaker 2:you bring to the table. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:So that make his point kind of not that make his point not valid. You know what I mean. Absolutely Like there's women and dogs that are not Right Because people let dogs Exactly.
Speaker 2:Bro, I saw a thing today and the lady was in the airport. Apparently, they told her she couldn't fly with her dog because she didn't have the right paperwork. Yeah, she went to the bathroom and drowned the dog.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 3:That's federal too, because you did it in the airport. Yeah.
Speaker 1:She's out on a $5,000 bond, 5K yeah okay, that's crazy, but that's okay because you can bond out. And still, I mean absolutely.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. It's just crazy Cause they it's like bro.
Speaker 1:What, and the reason why they probably let her out Is because it's a dog. It's not, you know what I'm saying A human being so.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. She's going down, that's unfortunate. Yeah, that's real unfortunate, but just to say, like you said, to unfortunately make your point there are dogs who are not unconditionally loved. You know what what I'm saying? So to make his, his point even more invalid for those, for those who are rocking with us and still listening at this point in the podcast, right?
Speaker 3:it's because that boy lost his condition a little bit, he got slapped.
Speaker 2:Look where a lot of people fell away like oh, she, she was like nah, I'm straight especially in the black community. You gotta think about it too. Like people lose respect for you, you ain't react, you ain't do nothing you didn't turn around.
Speaker 1:You ain't like. Rock was the person who was standing up the most.
Speaker 2:He was talking about him more than chris was and that was the but I think that again going okay. Going back to the other segment, masculine versus feminine, yeah, tony rock maybe have been more of the masculine brother in that relationship, in that dynamic right, while chris was more feminine not saying he's an effeminate man, but he he had more feminine traits where he maybe let Tony do more of the fighting. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3:Yeah, we can talk about that on the next episode.
Speaker 2:I feel like for those who are still listening, I think a good point that we made is that brotherhood is essentially where you can fall away and whether you're not getting it at home or in a situation where you find you a good group of brothers who can help you process the things right, who can help you along your path or kind of be brothers in arms in your trenches, then you learn who can rock with you at the top when you're dealing with your trophies. This has been another episode of the Trenches to Trophies podcast. Y'all got anything to say before we get up out of?
Speaker 3:here. I don't think, like I said, you Need to have that validation, to have that Unconditional love, but at least Having A brotherhood that can be Transformative. So it's okay to open up you know what I'm saying Even to your partners. Yeah, hell yeah If you don't feel like you can open up to a woman, cause that's the thing, yeah, hell, yeah. If you don't feel like you can open up to a woman, cause that's the thing, a lot of these dudes Don't feel like they can Trust no woman and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:Alright man, open up to your brother, absolutely you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:So.
Speaker 2:And find you a brother If you ain't got one. You know what I'm saying. Everybody out here, get you an, find you somebody. Talk to a therapist. Get y'all stuff together. Catch us next time On another episode of Judges to Trophies Podcast. We out you.
